Thursday, August 2, 2012

get in the limo: ginger makes!

what's this?  ANOTHER sewist i've not yet met in the flesh?! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!  and something shall be done, yes indeedy, when i get back to east coast soil.  till then, if you're in los angeles, i hope you're readying your prom frocks for the fabulous sew LA party this sunday...miss make and miss christine certainly are!

ginger makes wonderful things, namely this yellow dress which i have vowed to snatch forcefully off her body should she wear it to our future meeting.  she also makes me laugh out loud, a trait she shares with all the guests so far...  she positively screamed when she saw taran's gown and beat feet to compare pastels.  it's getting raucous in this ride.  ruggy's having trouble steering.  peeps are getting... queasy... hurry up and get in this limo, girl!  


First things first-- I have to wish a VERY happy birthday to one Miss Oona Balloona!  The festivities 'round here sure have been epic!  Ye Royal Birthd'Oona is rapidly becoming one of my favorite holidays!

OK... let me be honest right upfront.  This is a sordid tale of drama, terror, and tragedy.  If you're looking for some light reading, LOOK AWAY.  Just kidding.  But only kinda.

So my sophomore year, with the big homecoming dance right around the corner, when the guy I liked didn't want to go with me (I was uncool and a bit of a... ahem... late bloomer), I resolved to skip the dance and stay home.  Sensible, right?  I wasn't into the idea of going with someone just to go.  Unfortunately, my best friend's boyfriend didn't find this arrangement acceptable, so he took it upon himself to find me a date... but he didn't mention this quest to me.  What he DID do was tell my geeky lab partner that I wanted to go with him.  (I didn't.)

My lab partner was not good with the ladies.  I was super chatty as a kid, so I always tried to strike up a conversation with him in class (and everyone... you have no idea how many times teachers asked me if I had something I "wanted to share with the rest of the class" during my teen years!), but he would answer curtly or mumble under his breath in response to my questions.  I assumed at the time that Simon hated me (and I knew that he thought I was dumb-- he never let me do any of the experiments!!).  Needless to say, I was completely shocked when he asked me to the dance and followed up the invitation with, "So, I know you're not already going, and D---- said you wanted to go with me".  What could I do?!

I really didn't want to go-- I didn't really know this guy, and he didn't seem very fun, but I did what any sensible sophomore girl would do and buckled under peer pressure!  My friends thought it would mean a lot to him if I went with him, and since I didn't want to hurt his feelings, I said yes. Unluckily, my best friend and her boyfriend broke up the week of the dance (jerks!  They got back together right away, too!), so the fearsome foursome of bestie's boyfriend's engineering was broken up!

I'll skim over the gory details, but here are a few quick bullet points (imagine these laid out in a PowerPoint presentation about my awkward youth):




  • Even though I had my driver's license, he wanted to pick me up, so his mom chauffered us in her minivan and WAITED IN THE PARKING LOT while we ate dinner



  • He didn't talk and answered all my questions/conversation starters with one-word answers



  • He yelled at his mom for talking in the car



  • Didn't dance, but didn't want me to dance with anyone else, so I spent most of the night standing around watching the clock



  • Left for a few minutes, brought back a glass of punch, drank half the glass, told me, "Ahh, I feel so much better-- I just needed to throw up!", and THEN offered me the SECOND HALF OF THE GLASS, IMMEDIATELY AFTER TELLING ME HE HAD JUST THROWN UP



  • I insisted on dancing the last dance cause it seemed like the right thing to do, and as the song was finishing up, the lights came on and the guy that I had a searing, white-hot crush on spotted me from across the room and yelled, "Hey, look, Sonja's with [Geeky Lab Partner]!!"  and LAUGHED WITH HIS FRIENDS LIKE THE POPULAR JOCK IN A TERRIBLE TEEN MOVIE



  • I graciously ended the night by RUNNING UP THE STEPS TO MY HOUSE to avoid a pukey good-night smooch (tell me you wouldn't have done the same!)

  • Oy vey.  Don't you sometimes wish you knew in high school what you know now?  Like that sometimes when geeky dudes are mean to you, it's because they like you?  And that when you're out with a girl you like, you gotta take a risk sometimes and open up?  And that HOLY CRAP, sometimes the guys you like in high school are actually huge jerks!  Ugh!

    Needless to say, I swore off dances after that and promised myself I'd never, ever go, a promise that I kept until, oh, the first time a guy that I liked asked me (haha!  some resolve I had!).  I went the very next year with a boyfriend, and my senior prom date was Man Friend!  We had a great time, and I wore a dress that my mom made for me (at my insistence, to my specifications, and that is a terrible testament to my hippie style at the time).  We celebrated post-prom with my best friend, her butthead boyfriend, and another couple we were good friends with, and we had a blast.  But don't worry-- no perfect storybook ending here!  We decided to go to Six Flags the next day, and although I don't do roller coasters, I caved under peer pressure again ("This coaster is so mild-- you'll be totally fine!").  FRIENDS.  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT listen to peer pressure... that is, unless you want to throw up on your Man Friend and also maybe just a liiiiiiiiiiittle on the group of German tourists riding in the roller coaster car in front of you.

                              


    Man Friend + I at prom. Don't let my undead expression fool you-- I had a great time! Also... If you ever meet Man Friend and he's like, "Hey, crazy question, but are there photos of me on a sewing blog wearing a tuxedo with tails?", you HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS PHOTO.

    Peer pressure leads to vomit.  Moral of the story.  That and, that Man Friend is a keeper.



     What a guy! And hey-- don't be jealous of my wreath 'o' fake flowers!

    i adore this last picture, don't you agree?  YOUNG LOVE!  not even an on-demand-hurler can defeat it!  i suppose man friend was the pay off from that prom from hell.  excellent dividends.


    we've got another gal who ended up roses in the end... see you tomorrow morning (over spiked coffee, mais oui) for our next pickup!

    18 comments:

    1. BEST POST YET.

      Man, that reads like a John Hughes movie.

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    2. OMG!! This is soooo a prom movie in the making!! As usual, you had me laughing out loud. My son came up behind me to see what hilarious thing I was guffawing at! It started with this line "Ye Royal Birthd'Oona" and I didn't stop laughing and shouting "Oh, no!" the whole way through.

      Also, I love that Man Friend endured vomit to earn your love! I have hearts for eyes right now.

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    3. As someone whose boyfriend literally locked himself in the closet for the post prom party at HIS house, (and that was just the end of the a bad night) I can totally relate that nightmarish prom night.

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    4. Yeah, this is the depth of prom horror Oona was looking for, I think. And yet such a happy ending.

      I, too, abhor roller coasters. :)

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    5. Laughing, laughing, laughing my socks off. He yelled at his mum for talking in the car!!! For the first time in my life, I'm almost glad I wasn't an American teenager. (Because we all secretly wanted to be American, you know.)

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    6. I am so glad these stories prove that prom is nothing like the movies. I have loved every story, but Ginger (always) takes the cake!

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    7. My goodness, all you can really do is look back and laugh - and thanks for not blocking the horrible experience out of your mind so you could kindly share it with us - bravo Sonja.
      I had a similar first prom (we called it a 'Formal') experience of having to go with someone I didn't know but who was practically too shy to speak to me - ugh! :)

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    8. Oh Sonja, this made me laugh so hard. What a nightmare. I wonder where your lab partner is now... mail order bride?

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      1. Oooooohhhhhhhh, you totally inspired me to do some Facebook stalking! It appears as though he looks exactly the same but now has a kid (!)...

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    9. TOTAL JOHN HUGHES MOMENTS. I cannot get over how fabulous/horrifying your night was - but what a story!! LOVE those pictures of your and Man Friends... I mean, what pictures? I never saw anything....

      I think I love you even more now that I know you don't like roller coasters either. I don't care if they only have one hill - it will kill my soul to ride it.

      You are brilliant, and I'm so glad that your dances got better after Sophomore year!

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      1. I think we might be soulmates, Meg! :D

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    10. Oh man, this prom story is exactly like a movie, but also so not like the movie prom of a girl's dreams! Man Friend is a winner indeed, and GLP makes my date seem just fine in comparison!

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      Replies
      1. Oh, high school... the memories... :)

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    11. Great story. You and Man Friend are the cutest. And I AM jealous of your wreath!

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    i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied if not always written!