4.29.2012

wash n wear


as i mentioned in my post about lady danburry's awesomeness, at this time last weekend we were in vegas.  this was my view by the pool, where i loafed around in a ten dollar ross-dress-for-less jersey shift.  it was a spur of the moment trip, and i didn't pack well AT ALL.  mainly because we weren't heading there as high rollers, we were more... freeloaders... warmly welcomed freeloaders... but it put me in a different packing mindset.  i wasn't ready for the fabulosity of the joint.  

but in retrospect, neither were most of the guests there.  the clientele did not match the setting, almost purposefully.  no one was dressed during daylight hours.  in fact, i couldn't take a picture in the extravagant hotel atmosphere because it was cluttered with so much meh.  i'm not judging (much) as i was most definitely part of the meh.  at this hour last sunday, i was rolling out of bed in my gap "pool pants" (glorified pajama bottoms) and slouchy t shirt.  Musketeer The Third was ravenous.  would it take long for us to motivate?  two minutes later, the three of us were out the door and looking for breakfast.  to our horror, we found it.  my BBBLT beat the hell out of me.  (the triple Bs do stand for 300% more bacon.  i admitted defeat.)

heinously fed and back at the hotel, i wondered what i would wear by the pool.  opting for the second time that morning to wait on showering, i threw on a little more blush and staggered over to ross.  at about minute 49 of looking through the shoe aisles, it hit me: i'm standing in the middle of a public store, unwashed, in something i slept/waded around in bacon in for over FOURTEEN HOURS.   did i hurry back to the room in shame?  no.  i clocked it, spent another twenty minutes hitting up the junior miss dress racks, even tried things on in the fitting room, and returned triumphant to le hotel with my score.  AT THIS POINT I SHOULD HAVE SHOWERED.  i did not. bathing myself in sunscreen and a newly minted sundress, i then lounged by the pool.  for six more hours.  it didn't matter.  i fit right in.  

regaining my sense of smell, i did finally wash my disgusting ass before we left for dinner.  hotel evening wear also had a non dress code.  our trio observed the gaggles of women in micro mini dresses.  EVERYWHERE.  i don't mind them,  our fellow musketeer said,  in fact i like them, it's just that they keep tugging on them.  why do women want to wear something like that?  isn't it irritating?  

yes, i said, IT IS, i just don't get it, and gazed down upon them from my lofty and finally washed tower.  i felt quite holier-than-thou about the fact that i was in a short, but draped, skirt.  then a technicolor rose lace printed stretch mini came teetering from around the corner, and it all came back to me in a rush:  I OWNED THAT EXACT DRESS.  i wore it to vegas the first time ruggy & i visited.  and pulled down on the hemline every five steps, and told ruggy i felt like he'd just picked me up on the boulevard.  admitting defeat for the second time that day, i amended my answer to his question: you just go through it.  there's a point in your life where you absolutely have to wear the skintight micro mini dress. 

of course it's cool if that point in your life happens to turn into a lifelong thing.  so long as you shower daily.

what is it about vegas that makes you want to behave abnormally?  this is certainly the low end of the spectrum, ooooh, i didn't shower and i walked outside in my pjs!  i'm so baaaaaaaaad!  

you know what i want?  an old school casino hotel with dress codes.  evening wear is black tie, day wear is linen, poolside wear would be sweeping cinched caftans with long slits revealing pinup bathing suits.  for the gents, speedos are taboo.  an elegant kind of joint.  

would you go?

32 comments:

  1. oooh i would go to your casino in a heartbeat, in fact it might be the only way i go to vegas at all! i'm picturing a cross between the original ocean's eleven and the absolute glamour of the resort in 'to catch a thief'. magical!

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  2. hehe, we've only been there once, and arrived dead smack in the middle of the night with a family of seven, after road-tripping across the southwest. Another way to do it, is to just go surreal, because it IS surreal. Steak and eggs at 4 a.m. at the top of the hotel? Sure. Roller coaster at 8 a.m.? Definitely. (The kids loved that.) It's like we pretended we were a Tom Waits song for a day. We even bought wigs and 80s costumes and wore them out during the day. (There are some amazing thrift stores in Las Vegas!)

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  3. Ha! I am sitting in a divine 1920s resort in Palm Springs, (La Quinta), observing the same thing as you. The air is filled with gardenia and rosemary and jasmine, the buildings are literally out of the set of an Errol Flynn / Spanish Hacienda movie, and everyone looks like complete s***. The men are worse than the women, simply because they are so much schlubbier, every single one is wearing a date-rapist goattee, flip-flops, tee-shirt-with-large-gothic-lettering, and cargo shorts. I'm actually wearing the few self-made dresses I still fit into, so I feel good about that.

    Luckily you are blessed by good looks and charm to spare, so I'm sure you are still elevating your surroundings, and I doubt you are walking around Ceasers with a three-foot plastic flamingo full of cheap booze!

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    1. I WANTED ONE OF THOSE FLAMINGOS AND COULD NOT FIND ONE!!!

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    2. one could probably soak one of those in a hot bath till it is flexible, then wind it all the way up ones arm till it is the ultimate "Cleopatra on the Disco Nile" arm bangle. That would be awe inspiring!

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  4. i promise to go trough mini skirt faze as soon as i reduce my ass by some 10 kg

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    Replies
    1. don't you dare (on the ass front, that is).

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  5. Muahaha! It took me ages to accept that much as I enjoy showing more leg than Daisy Duke, a skirt that short is just more effort than it is worth. Although now I'm thinking fondly of my little red dress, which remains the only outfit I ever donned that caused my mother to exclaim "You look like a hooker!" Someday I shall find an excuse to photograph it for the blog...

    I do like the idea of your casino. Although I confess I might not be able to resist the urge to wear my little red dress there...

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  6. The place sounds good in theory (OMG, I just misspelled this word horribly), but in practice I usually feel dreadfully uncomfortable in anything too fancy. I am ALL OVER caftans by the pool, though. I keep telling my sister that I can't wait until I reach that elegant Claire Huxtable phase of life where all of my clothes are flow-y and multi layered.

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  7. Miss Oona, between your stories of galavanting through New York, California and now Nevada I am convinced that you are in fact running from the law. It's the only logical explanation. I like it.

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    1. This is a very good assessment of the sitch, Ms. Bobbin. As a New Yorker, I'm surprised I didn't think of it....

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    2. definitely on the run. good call, ms. bobbin.

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    3. DAMMIT JULIA.

      the jig is up. expect me at your house soon, as we'll have to go international now.

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  8. Please open a casino like that. Or just open that pool of yours and I'll make my husband be the dealer.

    Your description of unwashed lounging sounds just like me in tropical summer Hong Kong, complete with the "I'll just buy something new instead of showering" bit!

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  9. I would go to a casino like that...

    I love your epiphany about skin tight micro mini dresses... Sometimes I'm the same, thinking "Hey lady, you forgot the bottom of your dress" but I can't get around the fact that I used to dress like that too... It does seem to be a phase. Like the way I was obsessed with dinosaurs at age 5. Phase.

    Vegas is pretty cool, but I always found if I stayed more than 3 days it magically turned into The Most Depressing Place on Earth. Overnight. Just like that. There's something so... strangely sad about the place.

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    1. agreed, vegas has a definite shelf life.

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    2. I LOVE it for about 24 hours... then I'm bored. And the little old ladies with walkers and oxygen tanks plugging away at the penny slots at 6am try their damnedest to depress me. Sheesh!

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  10. I've never been to vegas, I always assumed people would put more effort into dressing there because the place is so different and "glitzy" but I guess it's just another vacation spot. and vacation = less normality always.

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  11. I have been to Vegas many, many times and I know exactly what you mean -- something about the heat and the vaguely tawdry glitz makes everyone give up on aesthetics. I actually like that about Vegas, the whole "who cares" vibe that leads people to drink mai tais at 8 am and wear swimsuits on the strip. Not showering totally works in that environment!

    There are places where people dress up in Vegas and do the whole fancy casino thing...but only after sunset. It's just too bloody hot otherwise.

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  12. I tried on a dress today which, I kid you not, didn't cover my underwear. I have no understanding of who buys/wears these things, because I see supershort hemlines everywhere in stores and nowhere on people. Is there some breed of women that are completely buttless or something?

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  13. Ha, ha, ha! Vegas is on our trip - I look forward to not washing! Now, I wonder what shall I wear...

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  14. I went to Vegas last year. Once was enough for me. Hated the heat (went in July). Hated all the drunks. Hated the girls in almost no clothing. The only good thing was the awesome food.

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  15. I love the idea of that fantasy casino, but I agree with some of the other readers that there is a sort of louche charm to Vegas too (as long as it only lasts a day or two.) As for those little dresses, I do get so distracted by the tugging UP on the strapless top then DOWN on the short skirt. If you buy a dress that tiny, just wear it, stop rearranging it! Because its usually cold here the poor dears are usually shivering and slipping on ice as well. You have to really admire those who can pull it all off.

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  16. Man Friend and his bestie are total Vegas junkies, and when they go, they wear three-piece suits (I kid you not) and roam around the casinos like lost members of the Rat Pack. I'd dress up, too... if I could tear myself away from the pool!

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  17. lol After I saw this, I got an email from my friends asking if I wanted to go to Vegas - if I don't have to shower and be pretty all the time, I am TOTALLY there.

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    1. you get your ass down here if you go!!!!!!!!

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  18. I actually enjoyed reading through this posting.Many thanks.


    Bridal Wear

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  19. I'd totally visit that glam hotel of yours - although, why build it in Vegas if you could have fine white sand, and blue ocean and palm trees? It could have a casino anyway... ;)
    My one time in Vegas was part of a camping trip with a bunch of au-pairs when I was 20. Except for spending the evening in a strech limo driking screwdrivers, I thought the place was a lot less glamorous than I had expected...

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!