5.03.2012

tunnel vision


last week, najah wrote up a nicely analyzed view of how she'll balance sewing and life in the future (woefully forgetting a section for cocktails.  bad, bad najah!).  though i realize her weekly sew-flow chart may rob us of wonders from her talented hands (i mean seriously), i get it.  weekly challenges can kick your ass and take over your LIFE.  ask ruggy, oona does it! pretty much did me most of the time.  it made me think about how i sew now versus then (because really, it's all about me.  you know this, yes?  good).  back Then, it would take me a week to sew and document a single project.  but now i haz super skills.  now all i need is twelve hours.

WHEN I HAVE AN ENTIRE DAY TO SEW:

at 7 am, i wake up to bedside coffee, a la ruggy.  this stuff is GOOD, yo.  and i get a morning kiss, added bonus. surf le web for an hour, then stroll over to my sewing corner and study what's on the table.

THEN I MAKE STUFF!  CUT STUFF!  HACK UP PATTERNS!  DRAPE SOMETHING!  SEW A DRESS!  SEW THREE DRESSES!  IRON ON SOME METAL STUDS!  BLINDSTITCH SOME SHIT LIKE I'M PERSONAL SEWIST TO THE QUEEN MOTHER!

(realize eating is important and take a food break at 11am.)

11:02!!! SEW!!! SEW MORE!!!  HAVE AN EPIPHANY ON FINISHING THAT LACE BLAZER!  DO IT!!  DECIDE I AM THE BOMB FOR DOING SO AND PULL OUT MY INCREDIBLY FRIGHTENING FEATHERWEIGHT ZIG ZAG ATTACHMENT TO CELEBRATE!  COPY THAT FOREVER 21 JERSEY DRESS HANGING IN MY CLOSET!  HOLD MY BREATH HOPING I DON'T LOSE AN EYE AS MY IZZIE RACES A ZIG ZAG THROUGH A TECHNICOLOR PRINT THAT COULD MAKE ME BLIND IF A FLYING NEEDLE DOESN'T FIRST!

(realize eating is still important, but not important enough for something involving effort, and down a handful of trader joe's dark chocolate peanut butter cups behind ruggy's back.)

GET 3 O'CLOCK SUGAR RUSH!  TERRORIZE THE JERSEY DRESS WITH MY SEAM RIPPER! TERRORIZE MYSELF WITH THE ZIGZAGGER!  DO THIS UNTIL 6PM!!! EMERGE VICTORIOUS IN THE FOREVER 21 KNOCKOFF BATTLE BUT DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO FAINTING!  REALIZE DINNER IS STILL AN HOUR AWAY AND FORCE MYSELF TO SEW MORE! CLEARLY I AM OUT OF SEWING MOJO AT THS POINT IN THE DAY SO I MAKE BIAS TAPE!!! EYE THOSE THREE DRESSES LIKE A PYSCHOPATH!!  SUDDENLY I AM CERTAIN THAT THE FINISH TO ALL THREE DRESSES IS IN MY SHAKY AND BIAS TAPE STUFFED PAWS! CRAWL TOWARDS MY IZZIE!  WRENCH THE ZIGZAGGER OFF AND TAKE A SHALLOW BREATH... THIS COULD BE THE DAY I FINALLY SEW THROUGH A FINGER!!! 

oona, ruggy calls.  pasta?

SLAM MY HANDS DOWN ON THE DESK AND FORCE MYSELF TO WALK AWAY.  THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT. QUICKLY AND FORCEFULLY.  LIKE A BANDAID.   EAT.  DRINK.  NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.  WATCH BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER AND WONDER: WHY DOES EVERYONE DUMP ON SPIKE AND WHICH BIAS TAPE SHOULD I USE ON THOSE DRESSES.  NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.

FIN.

it takes about thirty minutes to twist my brain back into normal functions.  about five minutes if there's a cocktail involved.

(and najah.... there must always be a cocktail involved.)

63 comments:

  1. Why DID everyone hate on Spike??!? My sister and I ended that show with a pretty big Spike crush...

    Your sewing frenzy is HILARIOUS!! Truly the most amazing whirlwind of activity to ever pass before my eyes in word form. Or something... My sewing days a WWWAAAAYYYY more puttering than that - but what can I say? I putter...

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  2. Oona, you make me effing laugh. BUFFY! I just broke-up with someone (painfully, horribly) who just didn't like it no matter how hard I tried. IT DIDN'T WORK OUT FOR A REASON. Good lord I love Spike. Did you see when he came back as a ghost on Angel? Good times. Utterly empathetic with your sewing blitzing. It's a good thing I live alone. It gets scary.

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    1. now i have to watch angel just to see that...

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    2. OH GOD, it's like Good, Badass Early Spike combined with Funny Spike and no Mopey, Infuriating Soul-Having Spike to mess it all up. UGH.

      Buffy is my sewing companion show a freakish amount of the time--the boys I live with know to avoid the front room when I'm anywhere near a machine or hot iron, but I've Stockholm-Syndromed them into Buffy fans and they watch happily with me when I am pinning/cutting/hatching plots.

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  3. Haha, brilliant! This is going to be me for the next few weeks... Now I just need to find someone to make me pasta.

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  4. awesome :) I can't hold a candle to you Oona, but on rare occasions, when I get to sew for many hours on a Saturday, I tend to forget about food. and I get weak and grumpy. it's bad. my hubby has brought me a glass of chocolate milk before, just to take the edge off so I can come downstairs for a meal. Maybe he should try a cocktail instead ;) hehe. Love all the caps and bold print, perfect for your tunnel vision story.

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    1. have him throw some bailey's in that milk.

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  5. LOL! I don't get those days often, but it sounds about right. Last time, hubs was out of the house with Tyo and Syo was sick so I sewed straight through dinner until about 8 pm, at which point I realized I was shaking so badly I was probably going to destroy something...

    Right now I'm interspersing sewing with trying to clean the house, which is, you know, not nearly so much fun.

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  6. Haha, I'm in the middle of a sewing marathon and just this morning I wondered if I was perhaps going a bit crazy, ripping out seams before breakfast. I lost at at the "this could be the day I sew through a finger" part. I keep wondering that, especially because I got dangerously close last night!

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  7. Replies
    1. Um. Team Angel!
      Does no one remember the whole 'spike tried to rape Buffy' thing,

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  8. OMG. I am still a sewing n00b, so I usually still need two 12 hour sessions to finish anything more complicated than a stretchy knit shirt, but this is very much like how I (don't) handle it. Sewing binges have *really* worn me out some weekends.

    I prefer season 2 Spike, when he was crazy-fun rather than "complicated" *sigh*

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  9. You crack me up! And man, a whole day to sew....what I wouldn't give to have one of those again. The way my life has been going lately, even an hour a week is a luxury!

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  10. Sounds like a good day to me! Sewing, cocktails, pasta...Love your machine, it looks vintage!

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  11. Here's you: blah blah blah FUN CRAZY blah blah DRINK SOME STUFF blah WHOOOOO HOOOOOOOO I AM THE QUEEN blah

    Here's me: hmph.

    Here's you: blah blah WHEEEEEEEE blah MY HUSBAND KNOWS HOW TO COOK blah blah WAAAAH HOOOOOO!

    Here's me: double-hmph.

    I have a feeling this is telling in some way.

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    Replies
    1. and a tee hee from me (you may also add a TRA LA)

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    2. oh sure. of course. I should have known.

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  12. oh sewing.. what was that?.. my other self used to be good at it.. my present self is spending day in dirt, trying to find out where the other half of 1500 years old skeleton might be

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    1. in a pink polka dotted frock, i hope.

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  13. I don't think I've ever had a full day just to sew. The funny thing is that it had never occurred to me. The crazy thing is that I now really want to experience the very day that you describe, just to see what it's like and how I'd handle it. We're a crazy bunch. I love it.

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  14. HA! My sewing days definitely start in lower case and go to bold caplock, too! Although I seriously wouldn't eat or drink if Phin didn't force me.

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  15. OMG. I just love you like whoa.

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  16. So much fabulosity!

    PS: I adored Spike. Angel was booorrriing!

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  17. Oona you're genuinely amazing! That sounds like a perfect day, especially ending with Buffy!! I am mad about it (infact, may be watching le dvd box set right now...) and am planning on making some Buffy inspired garments myself at some point (maybe a fluffy leopard print jacket?)... Also, I LOVE Spike! So impressed with your dedication/addiction to the sewing cause!

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    1. okay, all the little design details on buffy's blouses in the later seasons are driving me MAD. i've even started up a little buffy page in my sketchbook!

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  18. Oh God, I totally sew like this...then I stick my head up and inhale and think, WTF? Although, my breaks for fitting do restore some sanity because I'll try things on in front of a mirror -- dance around for a bit -- pin something together and carry on as usual. I do force myself to stop in the middle of some projects, otherwise I'll just keep going...and going...

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  19. hahahaha i love the part about seamripping like crazy! that is me except I do it over and over and over. hahahaha love your sewing day! I wish I had more time to sew

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  20. It's like I'm reading my own story. That moment when you have to walk away is so painful. The blood sugar's shot, hands shake, inevitably I've hit some kind of suboptimal moment I no longer have the fortitude to push through. And I haven't eaten anything substantive and or healthy in 12 hours. Thankfully, there's a bottle of wine at the end of the tunnel. And then there's always the next day.

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    1. the white at the end of the tunnel! missed opportunity, that. DAMN.

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  21. EXCELLENT!!! Now That's the way to sew!! Right up my street, I call it Kamikazi sewing, but it's tunnel vision. (I've been trying to transfer thoughts to my husband to take the boys to visit his family for a weekend...it's not working very well yet.)

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    1. try throwing tools at them until they leave.

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  22. Hilarious and entirely accurate! Except no one brings me a cup of coffee in the morning. Hmmm, need to work on that one... Heaven forbid that anyone tries to talk to me when I'm in the intense stage. I'm like a cornered animal, ready to lash out at anyone who comes near. Sewing is so weird like that! Why does it have to be so intense? I don't get like this around knitting.

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    1. i think knitting numbs the mind a bit. the repetitive-ness. in a good way.

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  23. Haha!! Love it! That was me yesterday, determined to start and finish a lined linen jacket... gave up at 00:15. Still to hand sew hems and do buttons. Almost there, I should have had someone make me a cocktail - and dinner... :D

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  24. If I'm sewing on my own it does tend to be a chaotic nightmare (involving lots of bodging) and I lose all track of time until I realise that I can’t move my neck as I’ve been sitting in pretty much the same position for hours…

    But I generally tend to spend sewing time with my mum, and she inevitably ends up abandoning whatever project she was planning on sewing to rescue my doomed efforts.

    She will stop me when she sees the manic "I'm just gonna throw this at the machine & see what happens" glint in my eye, and she will say "let's just think this through for a minute”.

    So, having been down this road before, while she is working out the 5,000 things that I was just about to do wrong (because I'm too impatient to plan anything), I'll open a bottle of nicely chilled white wine...

    Several glasses later and we normally end up still throwing the fabric at the machine as I would have done, but crookedly due to alcoholic vision. Hey - at least there was some planning involved...

    After that I usually decide that sparkly things and glue guns should be involved in all projects and by the time my husband gets in from work, our conservatory is usually resembling something similar to a glitter tornado (hey – it looks like Oz to me, through my emerald tinted booze glasses) and I have several gluey-burned digits.

    My mum normally stumbles home at this point (she’s about a 2 minute walk down the road) leaving me proudly waving whatever wonky tat we finished up with at my husband, expecting praise.
    But he’s ok with it because there’s always a nice glass (or 3) of red wine waiting for him to consume! SEE mum - I can plan *some* things!

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    1. i love the "let's just think this through" point that goes glittery south anyway! fantastic!!

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  25. hahaha. hilarious! i never have a whole day to sew (blame an unreasonable 3 year old who wants to be, y'know, fed and stuff - surely she knows where the peanut butter is kept?). but i'm definitely on the slower and steadier thing, but i think i also overplan - as i'm sewing i'm dying to get onto the next thing on my list!

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    1. and if it's crunchy peanut butter, it's TOTALLY a meal.

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  26. Your stream of consciousness is hilarious! :) Made me smile a lot thinking about how I also get that 'I OWN THIS WORLD' feeling after I get something right on the machine :)

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  27. Oh man, I love this. Ha ha ha! I go through a similar manic experience, but mine lasts like, an hour, then I need to eat some food and take a nap.

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  28. I see you left no time for a shower. I feel better that I'm not the only one.

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    Replies
    1. HA! i totally didn't and it's TRUE.

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    2. I can't smell you from here.

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  29. This is usually me on a Monday morning. I sew straight through, in my undies (makes the putting on and taking off SO much easier), until I have minutes to get dressed and run like hell to get the kids on time. Good thing I walk REALLY, REALLY fast, lol.

    By the time we make it home, I am lightheaded and grumpy as hell. And usually tired from staying up late the previous night doing schoolwork. I don't miss many meals after 3pm. Having kids forces you to eat, because they will not stand for hunger. A mom who makes things and takes silly pictures of herself? Yes. Hunger? Abso-fucking-lutely NOT, lol.

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  30. I'm not able to make a dress in a day. Definitely not. Nor dedicating the whole day to sewing exclusively. But it does sound familiar. I AM able to forget about food when immersed in a craft. Totally. Even worse with handsewing. EVEN THOUGH that's the one you can more easily put down for a moment in theory, it's the one I more often DON'T. Maybe because I always tell myself, I'll just finish the thread that's in the needle now... and when that's finished, I tell myself: I should prepare the new one so that I don't lose the needle... and once I start with that, I can't stop, OF COURSE. My family has to turn on the lights for me in the evening, because I totally forget about that as well.

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  31. I usually get into the Ziggie zone and then see the husband lurking outside my chamber door- wanting to ask' what are our plans for the day?' Is it not obvious?? World Textile Domination!!!!!!!!

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  32. Oona, you're amazing! :D
    I'm much too unfocused to sew for a whole day straight. I will wander away and read blogs for a bit, then wander away to have a bite to eat, the wander away and get lost on youtube, then wander away and... you get the picture. ;)

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  33. Oh you always always crack me up. If I only had the stamina (and alcohol tolerance) that you have! Best part about the whole post is that you watch Buffy The Vampire slayer after a day full of sewing. Awesome!

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  34. oh my god, that was the. best. post. ever!! *favorited forever*

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  35. Oona, I hear youuuuuuuu!!!!!! A day of sewing should also include occasionally fabric shopping (just bought 5 different fabrics this morning). AAAAaaaa help somebody! I can't imagine what would happen if I had kids. Why do I need kids? I've got a beautiful red mannequin, for God's sake!

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  36. Hee hee, I'm just so glad you didn't have a serger in the vicinity.

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  37. I am so in awe. A day of sewing for me is far less productive, even despite glorious starts, and oft results in exhaustion, fatigue or tears come 3 - 4pm.

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    Replies
    1. oh no, no tears. that's Moodmaker Cocktail time, just ask ruggy.

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  38. Darling, darling, Oona….thank you for the shout out and the hugely entertaining narrative of your 12-hour sewing process! My blog traffic has tripled over the last 3 days and it took me a minute to figure it out it was your crazy ass telling everybody about my nerdy post! Thanks for the appreciation and glimpse behind your magic curtain.

    Next year, after all of this weekly sewing biznessis over, I'll be a 12-hour Designer Extraordinaire too. For now, I sew in the moment. And in this moment. I'm only 3 months into my garment sewing lifestyle and am just a newbie trying to get her own rhythm. I am also one who must sew with rules for her own safety and sanity.

    What had happened was...I had this needle-meets-pinky-flesh-at-3AM incident back in 2005 (the very thing you were trying to avoid in the story of your Tim Gunn Triathalon). So, I had to institute a Gremlin curfew with my sewing machine: No sewing after midnight (unless its a Friday or Saturday night and I'm caffeinated). There's also a 2 DRINK MAX law while sewing to prevent further self-mutilation.

    So, let's see...if I was to modify my weekly sewing workflow to include time for libations, it would look like this:

    Design. Test. HAPPY HOUR. Cut & Prep. Construct. Finish. HAPPY HOUR. Photograph. Blog. HAPPIEST HOUR.

    I can always count on you to share the missing ingredient. In fact, that's totally what you are. Oona: The Missing Ingredient. (Not available in stores).

    Ha!

    Love ya, Boo!

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    1. ha! i hope it was a traffic JAM!

      i am loving the HAPPIEST hour. and i assume the two drink rule would work at every happy stop, since you'd have several hours of sobering up time between each one. i'd b glad to test that modification for you, i just have to get ruggy to make me an Oona: The Missing Ingredient cocktail (not suitable for minors).

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  39. Haha! Loved this post. I was letting out a continuous chortle while reading this. When I have all day sewing days, they are a lot like this, except for hubby making dinner. I'm not that lucky (His idea of making dinner is ordering a pizza). But he does make the coffee frequently, which is much appreciated. He may not be able to make any food except macaroni, but he makes a pretty mean cup o' joe. Another difference between our sewing days is that I start out just ambitiously, but i have a much lower success rate, which makes me even more crazy and likely to have a glass or two.

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  40. That was G-R-E-A-T!!! You are absolutely too much! But I understand. Every time I take a day off and say I'm going to wewax (as my 5-yr old, letter r and l hating niece says), my behind finds some way to drive myself crazy under the hot lamp of the sewing table...and I'm just starting. :)

    Love your dialogue Miss. Cracks me up every time. Cocktails for all!!

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  41. yep. and when sometimes when the sewing machine tells you the day is over, it's over and the thread won't stop breaking or running out or the needles won't stop breaking and then it's time for something else.

    Love to you.

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!