July 23, 2013

valley of the dolls


there is a seemingly tiny shop across the street from one of the many Whole Foods that litter dallas. its entrance boasts handpainted signs, garden ephemera, and small pieces of rustic wood furniture. 

the dolls made it look that way so that they can get you inside and kill you.  


the guts of curiousities is actually a cavernous carnival of nightmares.  upon entering, i was glad i still had still had a good thirty minutes left to my dinner break, as i was obviously going to need it to examine what would surely be truckloads of vintage treasures.  as my eyes adjusted, however, i realized i was being watched by said treasures....


....from every angle.


it brought back that universal childhood fear: your playthings are silently plotting against you while you sleep.  


but the santa VS jesus installation reminded me of a very strange and (i think) more singular underage fear: if i happened to be the last one up at night, and had to turn off all the lights before going upstairs, i was certain that as i reached the fourth step, jesus would turn the corner, eyes glowing, float-marching slowly and silently psychotically towards me.  i have no idea where killer jesus came from.  i was the town's first altar girl (because obviously, boys-only is not acceptable), and i was stupendously bad at my job, so maybe it was born out of guilt.

either way, you didn't want to meet that jesus in a dark alley.  he would whip santa's ass.


the only inanimate horrors missing were haunted porcelain masks.

yes, there were indeed some sewing treasures in there; a vintage featherweight at $175 and a box of jock straps from 1932 among them.  the proprietress breezed by in an absolutely gorgeous silky top of a thousand colors.  i thought she was there to chastise me about my large (read: tj maxx) sized bag, but we were destined to exchange clothing compliments.  i was sporting a new me-made.  oh!  you made that??  i really need to learn how to sew.  i need something to do when i get old and can't move anymore.  it's just around the corner. hahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHahhahahahahahhaaaaaaaa


i think the atmosphere of death might be getting to her.


i walked away with a great silk scarf, a luxuriously long strand of wooden beads, and my life.


MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS LIFE.

35 comments:

  1. Girl, you gotta get "Killer Jesus" on a shirt with that creepy bust! Remind me to show you the vintage, psychotically scary jack-in-the-box we were gifted for Baby Fish. We'll only use it when she's been really bad....mmmwwwaahhahaha!

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    1. a little fear is good for any child. isn't that the whole thought behind chippy the christmas elf??

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  2. Ha I really didn't think the dolls were that scary until I got to the heads on spikes/poles and it just got worse from there! Especially that last photo. What is going on in that store.

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  3. I dint think I paid attention to much after featherweight for $175.00. goad you made it out alive! maybe it is a Texas thing? There was a seller at a flea market in Fredericksburg, TX that had the same theme going on. Kind of scary!

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    1. i found (and bought) one for twenty bucks once on craigslist. ever since then the nose turns up at anything over twenty five.

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  4. LOL. My hubby and I call those our Texas moments (gun store in the mall, a "We sharpen chainsaws" sign on someone's front lawn). I swear - only in Texas will you see stuff like this. Glad you made it out with your sanity:)

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  5. Oh those dolls are a bit creepy! The puppets remind me of the ones from Mr. Rogers. What a fun shop!

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  6. Creepy dolls everywhere. At night that store turns in the Haunted Mansion and you have to pay a $5 entrance fee. Glad you made it out alive...

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  7. It is an incredibly creepy feeling to have all those eyes watching you! My MIL is the Doll Lady of Minnesota. Believe me when I say I've felt that level of ick. I love your new scarf, but I don't know if it was worth the price of admission. RUN away!

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  8. I thought of Mr.Rogers too! But when I looked up the land of make-believe characters (King Friday, Prince Tuesday...), they're actually quite different. Are these puppets familiar from somewhere else maybe?
    Dollies: total nightmare material here.

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  9. Oh my, me and my brothers had the exact same hand puppets when we were kids...

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    1. and yet you survived. you have skills, lady.

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  10. You make me LAFF SO MUCH!! And I really needed it right at this minute! So, thanks!

    Also, as a child, if I happened to be the last one up I STAYED AWAKE! I pulled many an all night-er protectin' the sleeping household ;o)

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    1. of course you did. i'm glad i gave you a laugh...i did see that you might need one yesterday!

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  11. I can only imagine you in that store and with a god-get-me-out-of-here-alive stare. This is why I don't like Texas - everything really is bigger. The hair, the dolls, the scare factor, and even death. Come back to the northeast!

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  12. That baby head on the mannequin elicited an audible gasp. Disturbing!

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  13. Maybe I'm a weirdo but I actually think those creepy dolls are kinda cool!! Especially the two in the second picture. I have an old wooden Pinocchio that has the moving parts. I bought it in an antique store. My Mom and I joked the whole way home about how I was going to wake up in the middle of the night with Pinocchio straddling me gently stroking my face. I love those odd little shops you just happen to come across when traveling.

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    1. the second pic is the creepiest...i think pinocchio might've done a little more influencing than you think...

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  14. Some of those dolls (4th picture) reminded me of the ones I used to see on "Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood"! *lmao*

    That place looked waaaay cool! All it needed were some pickled animals and such and it would have reminded me of "Oddities" - I miss that show on T.V. :(

    Glad you made it out with your life and sanity intact...and LOVED the store card that came with your amazing purchase - would they happen to have business cards that look just like that? And would you be willing to venture in there again to snag one for your minion? Pretty please - if it's at all possible?? That lovely "C" on the card is the first letter of my real name, that's the reason I'm asking. If no, it's absolutely alright, you're a busy lady after all (but I'd love a pic of the card you do have if possible)...

    Love,
    Mugsy

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    1. indeed, that is their business card, and i will absolutely snag one for you! gotta keep my minion happy.

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    2. Oh my dear, I shall worship from afar forever!! *LOL*

      Thank you so much for this...

      Love,
      Mugsy

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  15. Eek. Old dolls one at a time can be nice. But old dolls tend to be creepy by default, somehow... Some new dolls, too, come to think of it. I really am getting sleepy, and you're giving me nightmares already. I should not have read this post. Thanks.


    ... But you came away alive. Phew.

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    1. fingers crossed you made it through the night...

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  16. If creepy weird dolls kill me in my sleep, I'm holding you responsible.

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  17. i think these dolls are amazing, actually.. always wanted to make something similar in one corner of my apartment

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  18. Omg you are in my 'hood! So weird ( but cool) when my online world and real worlds collide. Any Dallas sewist meetup in the works while you are in town? Would love to join!

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    1. it's been crazy here! i think a few ladies are panning on coming, i'll check in...

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  19. Oh good lord! Creepy vintage dolls, never could get into that. For me it wasn't turning off the lights as it was unlocking the front door in time.

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  20. Those pictures are. . . horrifying, lol. Reminds me of a horror movie I watched with my dad when I was little about dolls that come to life and stab people to death with hatpins or something. I evicted all my Cabbage Patch right after.

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  21. CREEP.TASTIC. STORE!!!

    I can totally picture your glow-eyed vengeful Jesus. I mean the ubiquity of the blonde-blue-eyed Jesus is more than a little sinister in itself. I like a Scandinavian-looking fella as much as the next girl and I get stylization for iconography but its a total whitewash! This guy looks perfectly pleasant to me!
    http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/health/forensics/1282186

    Did you ever see this movie? It ensured I kept my eyes TIGHTLY CLOSED as soon as my head hit the pillow as a small child. It doesn't get creepier than stop-motion children's movies from the seventies.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUc-6GM4PDg

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  22. There is something about that shop that makes me think of the Eagles' song "Hotel California." Was the song playing when you were there?

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  23. That is terrifying... but strangely intriguing. Great scarf!

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  24. Oooh, horror film extravaganza! I'd have nightmares for weeks after that. Did you check behind you as you left to make sure you didn't have a tiny stream of porcelain dolls following you, marching stiffly on their determined little sturdy legs? Did you keep looking back all the way home? Did you lock your doors and windows securely AS SOON AS YOU GOT HOME? Are you SURE? What's that creaking noise, is that the tippety tap of tiny footsteps in the hallway? Is it the quiet but firm stomp of a spooky dolly foot? Are you scared yet? Good. You made me laugh, and I've just had my gall bladder out. Bad Oona!

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    1. i read this comment late at night and DID scare myself...... well played, miss gall bladder. hope you're healing nicely!!!

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied if not always written!