6.22.2020

Off the ‘Gram


It’s been 133 days since New York went on pause, and this space has been dormant for most of that time. At first, I thought I would have loads of time to wake this blog back up: I’ll get to take shots outside, undisturbed! Then: Scratch that! I’ll find new ways to get creative in our apartment! Then: I HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT I HAVE TO MAKE TWO THOUSAND MASKS THEN I HAVE NO TIME FOR A WORLD THAT IS WAKING UP TO A VIRUS THAT HAS BEEN HERE SINCE FOREVER

Although my plans didn’t pan out, most of this has actually been documented in wee blurbs on the ‘gram, evolving into full-on micro blogging—something I’d rather do here. But people have been asking to listen and learn there, and social media is an undeniable tool for affecting the world. These past few weeks, I’ve eagerly—for lack of a better word— read the multiple paragraphs posted by so many of my friends, old and new. Sewists that already had me enamored of their clothing had me floored by their words relating their experiences and actions, much of which was very familiar, but kept private up until now.

I’ve been thinking about why we keep the things that hurt us private. Rob said to a friend of ours, who was surprised by my personal experiences with racism: she doesn’t tell you, because she doesn’t want to be defined by them.

He’s right. After sharing one story, I wanted to delete everything in my feed. I laid awake that night thinking it’s self centered, it’s old, there are so many present day stories that I should tell but how am I supposed to share those when that 25 year old story makes me want to crawl under a rock from having put it out there. Rob made me promise to sleep on it, and when I couldn’t sleep, this post appeared in my feed. And I was glad my words were up so that my new friend could put her words up. And I’m glad for every person out there sharing their words. And I know it’s an awful, naked thing to do. 

When you hear the experiences of a friend, a family member, or even a technicolor blogger, who can offer you a glimpse into the world through a different lens, I believe it can change your world view. Not THE worldview, a worldview. And if enough of us share that lens, well, it’s chipping away at the virus of racism.

While my own experiences with racism are deeply felt, while color plays a HUGE and every day part in my line of work, I feel that my problems are insignificant in comparison. But, they’re also important. Systemic racism is a huge part of the problem. Representation is a huge part of the problem. Sitting at a high end bar and being called a black b*tch is a huge part of the problem. Allowing it to go untold contributes to the virus, and to the unimaginable.

So hi. I’ll be coming back to this space more often. I may share some of the stories I’ve posted on Instagram these past weeks. I may share recent stories. We may have different opinions, I hope you’re open to hearing them, because I can’t navigate the world without sharing them anymore.

I know I can’t get through these days without joy, it’s why I taught myself to sew, so I will definitely, and defiantly, share the technicolor armor.

Wishing you the work that needs to be done, however and wherever you can do it, and the joy that you need to keep it up.


25 comments:

  1. Been missing you. Thank you for sharing yourself. It helps me think and learn.

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  2. I love the dress,I need to tell you this -watched so many programs & films in lockdown over here in good old great Britain, i actually spotted you in a film i reconised you right away and my partner was able to re-wind and when credits came up there you were in black & white on the screen -your name -but now after watching so many series programs i dont remember which one -could it have been" silent witness "i think at one point you were wearing a denim jacket [which shows it was a re-run we were watching lol]
    love seeing your sewing -very inspirational keep it up love to see more stay safe stay well& be happy
    Roo from great Britain [now we are leaving the eu -happy,happy .happy.

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    1. Oh thank you Roo! I love hearing about fellow creative spotting me doing the tv thing....if my hair was pulled back it might have been “Gone”? Which I think went by several names depending on the country. Thankya, partner, for the rewinding :))

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  3. Big hugs, you have it all going down at once there and that's a lot to deal with.

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    1. We’re thankful for a lot, but yeah, it does seem nonstop. And I know most of us are bombarded in many ways. Maybe that’s why we’re all starting to come together...at least some of us...

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  4. It’s good to hear from you again. I’m not active on Instagram, so I was concerned you hadn’t posted. I guess I need to get on Instagram. I look forward to more stories. I also think personal stories can do a great deal to bridge the understanding and more should be said.

    That dress is wowza!

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    1. Thank you! You know, I always mean to keep this space going, because really, Instagram is great, but shouldn’t be the one and only way to connect online. I love the connections we all have through blogging!

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  5. I saw you answering an apartment door (and other things of course) in a programme in the UK and can't remember the series either!

    It feels like something might change this time. We can hope.

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    1. Ah, that would have been “Elementary”! Lovely set (and by far the easiest “guest star” I’ve ever done—answer a door, and walk down the street).
      It does feel like something might change. I’m more than a little afraid to hope after the past four years, but yes, we do have to.

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  6. Good to have you back. Totally relate to "not wanting to be defined by..." Thanks for giving voice to those feelings. Keep blogging, please. I look forward to your thoughtful posts.

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    1. Thank you. I’m lucky that Rob can understand the stuff I can’t explain about myself, and distill it—he really did put the whole “defining” thing perfectly. I’ll keep up the thoughtfulness ❤️

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  7. Anger comes from hurt, fear or frustration. What we all experience is the result of that anger..............things they don't or won't understand.

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    1. It’s important to know where the anger comes from, so that it’s not misdirected.

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  8. My friends and I were commenting on some of the cringey support things that sewing brands were doing for BLM, and I said, why don't they just hire Marcy to make some content if they want to do something for Black Lives? and then I realized you weren't on my Instagram and I found and followed you.

    I value your voice in this space so much, and I send people to read your words often. Thank you.

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    1. 😊thank yo so much Nikki! (You know I feel like I give myself a “V-8” snack once a day, realizing I follow a blog but not an IG account, or vice versa.)

      Yes....I’m perplexed by more than a few companies out there. But I’m also very used to upper levels lacking in diversity and getting it wrong, so I’m not surprised. I wonder if the smaller businesses are going to be where real change begins.

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  9. I need to hear your stories, all of them. Thank you for sharing them and for being vulnerable in this space. It matters. You matter.

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  10. I’m so glad you are back. My opinion is that re-living a traumatic experience through thinking or telling or re-telling or re-experiencing or being reminded is at least as traumatic as the initial experience. Multiply that . . . .
    So thank you for sharing your pain so that the world might become a better place. I hope that you will be able to take a rest from it and experience some joy now. We need to take care of one another by taking turns in the battle. I appreciate what you have given.

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    1. I think that’s very true. Like a sense memory. Taking turns in the battle is SO spot on. Can’t pour from an empty cup; I think I read that somewhere this week.

      And we never know what people are doing outside the realm of the online world, this might be where they go to find some joy and take a break.

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  11. I'm not a huge contributor to Instagram...a quick scroll for inspo or to catch up on friends that are blogging less is how I've usually rolled. That said, my little routine has changed recently and I'm grateful. I am reading/watching through your lens (and the lenses of others) and I'm seeing far beyond my little bubble. And I'm grateful and I'm learning. Thank you Marcy for sharing here on the blog.

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    1. Oops...I should have proof-read my comment before posting. And I'm grateful, :)

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    2. Sue! I don’t know how I wasn’t following you! I have to say I’m happy for the way IG has changed too, in some weird way that I can’t really put a finger on. But it doesn’t beat our corners of the web. The conversations on blogs just seem more thoughtful, not because people aren’t as thoughtful there, but emojis and such kind of take over in those little boxes. (Something I do myself, for SURE.)

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  12. just an internet stranger sending you a great big hug. you are such a bright spot in the world, thank you for being you.

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!