9.28.2020

The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS.

The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS. | oonaballoona by marcy harriell

HEY NOW! THAT is what I call a celestial body! ARE YOU MY LUCKY STAR, BABY?! Yes, I am catcalling my man. I CAN'T HELP IT. He's looking right down the lens of the camera and I'm DONE. IN A GOOD WAY. Can you blame me? Would you lookit that mug? Are the technicolor, handmade shorts even the focus of this leadoff picture on a *sewing* blog? No, they are not, and YOU'RE WELCOME.

The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS. | oonaballoona by marcy harriell

I'm sorry, I'm feeling very ALL CAPS lately. Belligerently so. I think it's because such a large portion of the -ish going on in the world points to a severe lack of listening (among 12,000 other things), SO ALL CAPS SEEMS HANDY.

The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS. | oonaballoona by marcy harriell

These shorts, however, point to a very different issue. AN ISSUE OF GQ, BABY! THAAAAAT'S RIGHT! I swear, I didn't intentionally create a starburst at crotch level. Well I mean, I DID, but I didn't consider just how bursty it would be once stitched up.


This picture was meant to showcase the zip fly, but yeah. That's a lotta crotchburst.


Can you believe, the BACK is where I really thought we'd have issues? To be clear, we do, in more ways than giving Rob his own pink portal. There are no pockets. This is what Rob said as we walked out the door to take pictures. I gave him a substantial pause and several calm breaths before promising him back pockets on the next pair.


BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE FRONT POCKETS TOOK? A LONG TIME!!! A VERY LONG TIME!!!


If you can pull your eyes away from "Star Marks The Spot" and look to the left of this shot, you'll see a little silver clip. That's my model's pocketknife. This southern man goes nowhere without it. So, right around the time I was considering pivoting and making him a good old elastic waistband, I remembered working front pockets were a necessity.


Apologies for mangling the edges of this fantastic mural, part of Sprayetteville. I had to extend the width of the JPG to fit my blog. I blame the model's gravitational pull, I just wanted to be close to him. But Sideview! Sideview, to give your peepers a break from phenomenal print placement! 

The Man, The Myth, THE JAMS. | oonaballoona by marcy harriell

Speaking of print placement, Rob is pointing out the logo of the best brewery IN THE UNIVERSE, run by two of our closest friends and favorite humans. If you're in the hood, check out Crisis Brewery, y'all.

Hey! Now that I'm at the bottom of the post, and no longer distracted by the HotNess Monster™️ gracing my screen, lemme talk about the sewing for a minute.

These shorts are actually a copy of his favorite pair of RTW shorts. They finally got old enough for him to sacrifice them to science. Various methods of making a pattern from RTW have been attempted in the past, none worked to my liking! I find it tedious to trace with thread and silk organza, or rub off seam lines like hieroglyphics....and, yes, I have tried commercial shorts patterns, which always fail to give him space to roam free. I am SO GLAD I finally tried cutting something to pieces, because it worked like a charm! And no, I don't feel bad copying a piece of RTW, especially as he can't find this cut in stores anymore. BELIEVE ME HE CAN'T. I'VE SENT HIM ON MANY A QUEST. Anything to keep me from having to deal with the anatomy of the male membered crotch curve.   

The traffic on this post is going to be stupendously baffled.

For this method, you will absolutely lose whatever you're copying, but it's a pretty solid way to get an exact copy. I decided to document it all, start to finish, on our YT Channel, and dealing with sewing-without-a-net while filming basically put my brain on backorder. But now that I know it works, I'll be looking for more candidates to go under the knife, and I'll share a more comprehensible A to Z with y'all soon! For now, if you'd like to get an idea of how this worked (and be entertained by our fitting session) you can check out the video by clicking right here: Watch: Copying RTW Shorts!

I hope you're digging the video content, for myself, I don't think I would have dove into these shorts otherwise! Lemme know if there's anything you'd like to see in the future. (And, I have no intention of becoming a blogger whose blog posts only include embedded video content, so although I'll alert you to videos here, I'll still be rambling aplenty. In fact I think it'll make me ramble MORE. AIN'T YOU LUCKY? AIN'T YOU ALL CAPS LUCKY?!!!)

25 comments:

  1. so informative, so hilarious, so loving, so much excellent new vocab (male membered crotch curve)

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  2. Every time I looks at these wonderful shorts, something else cracks me up. Today it's the combo of the butt-crack sliver, and the illusion of bowlegged thighs. Who has bowlegged thighs?? I love these shorts.

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    1. HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! I didn't even see the bowlegged thigh effect!

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  3. WE ARE LUCKY, LUCKY LUCKY, SOOOOO LUCKY!! <3

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  4. When demolishing a rtw garment to copy, if it is a symmetrical garment, keep one half intact so you can remember all the details of how it goes together. (No need to ask why I recommend this course of action.)

    Thanks for the eye candy. The Sour Burst fruit-flavored eye candy.

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    1. I like your eye candy description.
      That is SUCH good advice! I was scrambling between other pairs of his shorts to tetris them back together.

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  5. AWESOME! I need more information on how to install the zipper, though!

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    1. Mmmmmmm I was so proud of myself one that one. I may have called myself a Golden God. I'll work on a video!

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  6. We ARE lucky, very lucky! You brighten my day every time you show up in my inbox. Those shorts and that dress SCREAM about pattern placement and I love it, nothing accidental about it. I love that you do you and that along the way you also seem to do me - at least the inner me that is tall and slim and sociable (and has big hair).

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    1. I like everything about this statement. We've all got a little each other inside us :)

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  7. Crisis Brewing? They are creating the crisis by pouring gasoline on the fire? That's how I interpret the design on the front of the T. The shorts are fabulous and so is Rob.

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    1. Connie, you nailed it! That is exactly what they were going for: you either see beer putting the fire out, or stoking it. A half empty/full rorshach test. (and, Rob says thankya 😎)

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  8. Your writing & sewing does make me feel ALL CAPS LUCKY, actually. Nice work, of course

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  9. If anyone can carry a starburst crotch, it's Rob. And he does it with such panache!!! These shorts are all colours of fabulous. Rob's the lucky one.

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    1. Have no idea why that's come up with my old details! Evie x

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    2. Wait till I tell Rob he's got panache. Maybe it'll convince him to rock long pants in wax print?

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  10. This totally made my day (and possibly won the Internet). Crotchburst indeed. Ha! Seriously, tho, great make. As for ALL CAPS RAMBLING I am here for it!

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  11. I love the pants from ready made. The results are fantastix. Love the pattern created with the birthday stars. I am so jazzed to start another sewing project. But wait, I can barely work in my sewing space dubbed the studio. Why, multiple starts of projects waiting for a finishing. A very nice finish.
    More masks are the top of the list. Memory bears for my niece's children. We are heart aching for her death by gun violence AT the beginning of October. Collecting the clothes to represent Amber was a healing activity for my sister-in-law. It took a good twenty minutes for her to hold each piece and talk about it's relationship to her daughter. i have been putting off this task and others are piling up behind it. After experiencing the joy of sewing and creating with fabric you have helped me to regenerate the passion I had before the police called to tell us of her demise. In fact, I will make six memory bears. One for each of her three for her children and one for each of her three brothers. I need to make a bling-ed out bear for her mom and dad.
    Then I will move on to something for me. I have ready made pants with a phone pocket and elastic waist band that I love. That is what I have to make for me from some fantastix wow fabric.
    Thanks for sewing blog. I hope to enjoy more conversations. This has been a great day coming across your 3-D face mask and then discovering how much more you have to offer.
    Happiness,
    Lulu

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  12. I've Just discovered your blog, and you've got me howling with laughter. Those shorts are amazing! I didn't know I needed celestial crotch-innuendo until I read this, thanks for making my day!

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!