12.13.2012

i want to love you

 
several hours of my day were spent on the mess you see above you. at the time, i did not think it was a mess, and took this very picture so that i could include it in a post full of crowing and thest chumping.
 
turns out it is indeed just a mess. of the most hot sort.
 
the longer i worked on it, the more angry i became. i'm a Finish It kind of gal. if something goes wrong at any point, i usually grit my teeth and hammer forward. I'LL FIX IT IN POST, i whisper scream to myslef à la ed wood, grabbing something sharp and attacking with gusto. usually that works in my favor in a marie curie sort of way (at least in my opinion). but after collapsing in defeat at the end of the sewing day to play word games with ruggy, i felt the tunnel i'd been in for the several hours clear. whilst chuckling over a particulary delicious wordplay (i believe it was "tidbits" to "bitties"), i glanced over at my ironing board, and suddenly my brow darkened. i wanted to set fire to the area with my eyes.
 
i totally know how to do that.
 
is it possible... could it beeee, el guapo... sometimes you have to step away from the garment and decide, for the health of yourself and the safety of those around you: it's a wadder? i hate wadders. because i refuse, in every aspect of life, to admit defeat. I. WIN. AT. EVERYTHING. so if i can somehow salvage a project, even if it means something is fundamentally off in some way, i count it a victory. like the steelers of late, it ain't pretty, but it's a win. yet, if i walk into a retail store, i scoff at a wonky bias cut or a wavy seam. the horror! how do people buy this junk?! how utterly beneath my skill and prowess! i turn up my nose, turn on my heel, and prance home to my sewing queendom! where i'm probably working on a dress with a twinned back bodice and a lumpy thrice inserted zipper.
 
maybe making something passable doesn't make it good. maybe it just makes it on par with the RTW that i used to shrug my shoulders at, thinking it fit well enough for the price. this frightening thought will keep me up tonight: no one knows you made that slightly off garment you're parading around in, unless you tell them. and if it's wonky, you're not going to tell them. so really, as far as anyone knows, you're just wearing another poorly made off the racker.
 
SLEEP NO MORE...
 
what do you think?
 

18 comments:

  1. that's a thought that has often occurred to me and i thought it was just me. i assumed awesome seamsters like oona make nothing but perfect, far superior to RTW fabulosity. of course i'm quite shite at sewing but still: if "good enough" is really good enough how do you explain the motivation to create you own clothes? how are wonky home made clothes superior to cheap mall goods? of course if you have to ask can you ever really understand? i don't know

    of course i continue to knit and sew and experiment and improve. some things don't turn out well and some do but either way i learn. sometimes it's the journey that is it's own reward (cuz if you can't laugh you have to cry right?) but really the rewards are the ones that turn out nowaytheresnowayyoumadethat good. then i get to say "oh i totally did.n hah!" that's really the best part i think

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  2. It's been interesting for me to review my sewing over the past two years really - what was once passable is now a terrible terrible pile of awful. My standards are getting higher, along with my disdain for RTW.
    So yeah, I'm screwed.

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  3. I love that fabric! It's pixel-y. I'm sorry it's fighting you. Sometimes the only good that comes from making a particular pattern/using a particular fabric is that you learn never to touch it again. I'm looking at you, Vogue 2912 in silk charmeuse...

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  4. This is something that crossed my mind yesterday as I was shopping, not everything I make has to be perfect/have immaculately finished seams/last me ten years. Fast fashion can exist in home sewing and there is no need to feel guilty that. In my own experience, most of my 'wonky' items will probably wash and wear better than their budget RTW counterpart, and as a seamstress, when that garment does 'die' I will more than likely reclaim the notions and the fabric for other projects, rather than throwing it away or giving it to a charity shop to be sat unsold for an age.

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  5. If I think I'd circling the bowl on a project, I usually put it on Ms Holloway and walk past it for a few days- giving it the stink eye, until I find a solution or just realize that the people at my local Goodwill are used to buying wonky retail and one gals trash is another gals treasure....but Lord, I hates to give up my pretty fabric, even if it's wearing a white flag as an accessory....

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  6. You sound like me. I am most critical of everything I make. haha Although I do have a closet full of non-finished pieces that will one day (I swear!) be fixed and done.

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  7. I like making fast fashion things - I learn something, I get to see something creative resulting from my time, and they're often just as good or better than what I could buy. I've bought too much stuff lately that falls apart at the serged seam, or has a raw edge rolled up into a cuff, to make me feel dissatisfied with my own things being less than perfect. And yeah, my fit might still be off, but now I notice fit problems so much more from store-bought too.

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  8. I think that it is an fantastic accomplishment to make something rather than to buy it, that is a huge win in itself! So what if there's a wadder once in a blue moon, look back at all of the amazingness that you've accomplished, and believe me no one is focusing in on the wonky bit as much as you!

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  9. What is the cost of perfectionism? If a mistake will bug you forever, then by all means, fix it! But if it can't be seen on a galloping horse, and you're OK with that, then move along. We are our own worst critic, no? I understand and sympathize with your desire to WIN because I am like minded; however, I tell myself it's just fabric. It's just the time invested - and even with no finished product, it's still a lesson learned. (I try to quash the thought of the dollars and hours wasted, and I remind myself that it's the cost of learning.)

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  10. I'm not a great seamstress and now turn my nose up at RTW! But when I'm thinking objectively, I think we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves, it's always good to try to improve but not the the point were we can't enjoy our craft - so maybe wear it anyway!

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  11. I try to think of not-any-better-than-rtw projects as a learning process, hopefully I won't make those same mistakes a second time. And most people have been wearing crappy rtw for so long that they don't realize anything is wrong with their garments, so I like to hope that only fellow sewing people will ever notice my mistakes, and will understand that a valiant effort was made.

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  12. Girl, sometimes you gotta walk away! If something has you steaming more than a New England lobster boil, it's time to set it aside (along with the toxic negativity). If something isn't really fixable, I know in my heart that I'll never be happy wearing it, and if it can't be chopped into bits to make something completely different, chuck it!

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  13. Love this post. Especially your explanation of judging dodgily made RTW - been there!

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  14. Aww yeah. I think you and that (?)dress definitely need some time apart! ;)

    Everything I make is a touch wonky somewhere, and like you, I totally sneer at storebought for flaws I often commit myself. I tell myself "they're getting PAID to make this! I'm allowed to f$&/ up---it's my hobby!" ;) good luck with the mess, whether rehabilitating or just burning. :)

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  15. I'm not sure I think; I don't buy RTW because it's usually not a style I want or not a material I want. But yes, I do sneer, too, and I totally make messes. I think I'm like Tanit-Isis in this, I think THEY should do it right and I (That's a capitalised I, OK?) am allowed to make mistakes, because I'm not SELLING it.
    Blah blah blah.

    From the photo, compared to many messes I've seen (ones that were sold, too), that dress is not such a mess; some time apart might do you both good. But I know how that is, too. Time apart makes you resentful, at first. You'll get over that, eventually. Hopefully. Do not set fire to your sewing area. It's innocent. You'd regret setting fire to it almost immediately, and miss it terribly afterwards.

    Your previous post reminded me that we did not open the Neuburger on my birthday celebration yesterday. Somehow it did not go with the chocolate pudding (not your chocolate pudding). Must remedy that today.

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  17. I turn on heel at poorly made Rtw too, especially if it's expensive, no excuses there!!
    I use to be a perfectionist when it comes to sewing, but then I realised if some was so close to my wonky seams then it probably wasn't my seams they were looking at, if you get me ;) so now I'm not too bothered, but sometimes, just sometimes, that one project it a real mare and needs to be left, preferably, in a deep dark hole, until you decided if it's worth your time or not, but it's still a lesson learned I guess, either way!

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!