10.09.2014

What was I (drink)thinking #1


So! Welcome to What was I drinkthinking, a little series dedicated to wadders. This gem has gone to the great Thrift Pile In The Sky, so it's of no use to tell me how cute it is. ALSO I WILL NOT BELIEVE YOU. I MIGHT EVEN CALL YOU A LIAR! FRIENDS DON'T LIE TO EACH OTHER! (Of course, there's the danger that someone out there might truly think a wadder is cute, in which case, no offense, but this thing felt like I was wearing a candystriper's hairshirt.)

Let's begin, shall we?

In one of those recycled fashion stores that are all the rage in LA, I was in the dressing room, going through the aggravating experience of finding appropriate audition attire. It wasn't always so vexing. 


But at that point I knew a bit more about fit. A BIT. Because this romper, this janky carnival ride, this was what I thought photo worthy. Come on, y'all.  Feast your eyes on that front crotch curve and the sumptuous excess baggage. FEAST. Plus too tight legs! I WAS A POSTER CHILD FOR FIT!

Even so,  I had just enough knowledge about how things should fit to make me dangerous, and the RTW dressing room was therefore not the Candyland it used to be. Mais, I had no desire to sew audition appropriate clothing (still don't). So there I was, looking for bargain priced designer hand-me-downs.


(Ooo look what a badass I thought I was. I invite you to gaze at my crotch. That's not a shadow. Hey oona, for all your careful placement, how'dja manage to get the two DARKEST STRIPES in the yardage RIGHT IN YOUR FRONT CROTCH? Embarrassing tampax commercial every time I stood legs akimbo. Which I often do.)


Where's my waist. Anyone?

How does my butt look?! How many calories were in that dessert?! Did that guy from last night call you?! This was the stimulating conversation wafting from the dressing room next to me. Well, honestly, it wasn't that inane, it's absolutely appropriate dressing room talk. But I was so utterly disgusted, I could feel my eyes roll back in my head. The kind of roll that makes your eyelids twitch from the force of it. Dressed in my ridiculous attempt to look like a lawyer, I caught the roll in the mirror, and laughed at myself. I hated those chicks because, at the time, I had zero girlfriends in LA. And I wanted to go shopping with my girlfriends, and laugh in dressing rooms, and go eat ice cream.

I bought zilch, called a girlfriend on the walk home, and yammered about every silly trivial thing possible.

It was a good reminder that most people who are hating on you for seemingly no reason have reason of their own, usually having very little to do with you. 


This romper ended up on the counter at that very same store, along with a pile of clothing I couldn't imagine carting back across the country. Unsurprisingly, the buyer behind the counter did not bite.

What Was I Thinking: 
The fabric was way too heavy for this pattern (Suede Says 2222), a medium weight cotton with zero drape.
The print placement! EGADS!
Extending the crotch curve out and crossing my fingers didn't work.
The Armsyce extends down to Mexico.

What Was I Drinking:
I believe Ruggy was very into perfecting the perfect Manhattan at the time. Mostly due to the fact that we missed New York.

What I Learned:
Even though I failed miserably on that crotch of questionable color, I did take my time with those stripes. I was starting to think seriously about print placement (and doing lots of failing. No really, lots). And I was beginning to figure out where my real waist sits, and where the pattern should sit in relation to it. For a while after this, I was hiking errrrrrrthang up to my natural waist, a la Ed Grimly. Also, I learned that Suede Says he is not the pattern maker for me (although that lesson took some time, and several more tries of several more Suede Says patterns). 

I sincerely hope you found this little gem as catastrophic as I did! And lest you think all the candidates in this series will be ghosts of stitches past, just wait. I've got a wadder from last week that's amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.

66 comments:

  1. Now I've never said this on a sewing blog before but....

    THAT IS HILARIOUSLY TERRIBLE!

    In a totally amazing way. So: props to you for high entertainment!

    Now, I'm intrigued to think of who's going to buy this from the thrift store... I'm thinking maybe a very small circus performer who likes to draw attention to their crotch?

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    1. I AM GALD TO BE YOUR FIRST! i welcome it, in fact, thing thing IS terrible!!

      it went to the council thrift shop, i'm assuming it gave someone a very nice halloween.

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  2. It's fun! So what everything is of and wrong! FUN!

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    1. now, that it is. tho some fun is ill advised...

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  3. Thank you, thank you for the morning laughs and entertainment. It is nice to know wadders happen to everyone and we can just laugh about it.

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    1. you are most welcome. i can pretty much guarantee more to come ;)

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  4. You are right. This is pretty awful. But I get where you got the idea, theoretically this had a lot of potential... But only theoretically...

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    1. yeah, them theories, they get me every time, just ask the wool cape currently waiting for the seam ripper...

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  5. this might become my new favorite series on the sewing blogs' scene! no schadenfreude going on here, just glad to know i'm not alone with my own failures and terrible sewing decisions done while being mildly drunk.
    that romper though. would be interesting to see the person who's going to buy it!

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    1. haha i'm so glad! i would be SHOCKED if someone ended up with this.

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  6. {{{sigh}}} You know I love that fabric, don't ya? It's too bad, it's so sad that it didn't work out. It's rare that any of my stuff gets accepted at my favourite local consignment store. Which, I guess I should be offended about, LOL. But, whatever... Love your sunnies!

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    1. yeeeeahhhh... i could see you in the cutest stripey dress....

      and those consignment stores always want labels. i swear if we stuck H&M labels on, we might get past!

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  7. My dear Ma gave me a box full of photographs for my birthday. This romper is entirely reminiscent of what an 18-month old would get to wear in 1960 -- loaded cloth diaper and all. The only real difference is that the films then in common use were all black-and-white. There WAS one adorable sleeveless top in gingham, set on the bias, in opposite directions on both sides of a center front that had a section of on-grain binding right down the middle, that looked as if it should be copied ... .

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    1. furthering my belief that we somehow know each other in real life, in a string universe somewhere...

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  8. I think I had that very same romper in 1982. My eight year self loved it!

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    1. now, if i had made this child sized, i would be proud of it!

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  9. Bahahahaha! You are one funny lady. I had that exact same romper in 1983, but mine was in pastels of pink, yellow and probably other colours too. I still remember how much I loved it. I called it 'my clown suit' and wore it nearly every day.

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    1. you're the 3rd person to have this as a child. how did i not see that coming in the days it took to stitch this?!

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  10. Oh my. That is one crotchtastic jumpsuit.

    I do love those earrings, though, and the sunglasses are fabulous. So you've got that going for you...

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    1. oh yeah, i borrowed ruggy's shades in an attempt to chic it up!

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  11. My goodness, I've just had to adjust the brightness on my laptop; these look like babygrows on acid! Full marks as always for attitude though.

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    1. one must have attitude, especially in a getup such as this.

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  12. Mais non! Miss Oona making such mistakes?? Just kidding - I'm glad you had the bravery to post your "wadders" as you call them (LOVE that term, may I steal?)...and listing the mistakes you may have made in the process. No, the outfit is not cute - but you still are my dear! :) Your posting has upped my confidence a little - as in, even terrific folks out there can make mistakes and are not ashamed to point them out.
    Thank you! :)

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    1. yes and yes! i think maybe wadders came from british blogs??

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  13. Thank you, thank you for showing us your wadders. We all have them, and honestly I think we should show them off more!

    I have to say this make feels a little Technicolor Dream Coat meets Poise commercial. To me those dark stripes at your special place are screaming, "I laughed so hard I wet my pants!"

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    1. we oughta have a button ;) AND that oughta be a commercial!

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  14. ha! oh man, thanks for braving it and sharing this!

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  15. ok, so crotch fit/dark stripe placement aside, I LIKE THIS!! Yep, would totally wear to the beach. Waist schmaist.

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    1. if i still had it, i'd send it to ya (tho i would require photo evidence of you in public!)

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  16. I can't wait. Hahahaha! I think the fabric had potential, but not with Suede...that's for sure haha

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    1. y'know, i seem to remember jen of grainline made a maxi dress out of this? i sighed deeply, and with much regret, over it.

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  17. And...this is my new favorite series in Blogland. Hilarious! Honest! Full of Questionable Stripe Placement! Five stars.

    Thanks for sharing, lady! Also, incidentally, that fabric rocks and you were totally pulling this romper off, crotch stripe and all. :D

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    1. HAHA! awesome! i've got a good one for the next round.

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  18. Ok! I will not tell you it is too cute. I will tell you that you look so happy and I just love all of the colors.

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  19. So I'm sitting here thinking that clearly you missed your chances to sell this to a tampon company. Cause, Wow.
    Also, thank you for sharing these! It makes me feel better that we all start out making... Choices...

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    1. http://wp.me/p4gSyG-3A
      In case you are wondering, my husband still calls this my paper towel dress and I can't wear it because he asks me to mop things up with it...

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    2. that. blew. my. mind. even the TEXTURE!!!

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  20. Oh I'm going to looooovvvveee this series! To see into all the creative spaces of your brain is going to be such a treat! Cause you do know that these wadders are creative flights of fancy that just never took off...cause if they had we would all be ooohhhhhing and aaaahhhing over your astounding creativity!

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    1. i love the way you describe the upcoming wadders :)))

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  21. I love it! How bad it is, that is. I wonder if you didn't angle the stripes out a bit diagonally like on the rear if this might have visually been a little better.
    Also, I kind of feel like everything I made pre-last year belongs in this category. And also, I have seen you in ages. What's up with that? I hope it is because you have found some work :D

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    1. i don't think anything coulda made this better.

      we must correct the situation!

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  22. Definitely going to love this. I am a beginner sewer, and while i love a lot of blogs, i feel intimidated sometimes, and seeing someone like you who does fabulous things make mistakes, makes me feel better and shows me that with time i can be just as good!
    Christine
    http://twogirlsoneoutfit.com

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    1. and even with time one can always have an epic faiL! so long as you're having FUN.

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  23. Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance for the awesomeness that is going to be this series, if this hilarious post is any indication. On pins and needles for the next one!

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  24. Well, at least the stripe placement was considered, even if it wasn't in the most ideal location.

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  25. Please share your discoveries re: waist/pattern placement! I've just figured out that I have a high waist, andI'm not sure what to do about it...

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    1. i find that when garments sit about 5/8s below my natural (high) waist, that's best. Any more and i get pooling, any less and ed grimly comes to town :)

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  26. Whatever you WERE drinking, I'll have one. Or three. hic!

    :-)

    That crotch "shadow" was my favorite part. Er ... I mean ... made me laugh the loudest.

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  27. I like it hell....I like it a lot....lol!

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  28. LOLOLOLOL! Thanks Miss Oona,,,for letting the rest of us know even the Queen makes oopsies!

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  29. Dat stripe placement! Tampax commercial or not, you look fun as hell x

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  30. LOL. Okay, I admit it. AT FIRST I thought "But that IS cute". But then I read and I really looked and you're right. No adult should ever wear that. I still do like the fabric though.

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  31. Oh, this is a genius series. I cannot wait. (The landing strip at the crotch is horrible perfection.)

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  32. Thanks for sharing! I think it's fun to see the things that don't work out sometimes too!

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  33. Well, I live in Mexico and I swear I have not spotted that armsyce over here... : P

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  34. Rolling at the floor @ "....tampax commercial"

    Fun color, you look hotter than fire :-)

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  35. High five for being entertaining. Glad to see we all have wadders. :)

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  36. You are one brave woman. I agree that knowing about sewing and fit wrecks retail shopping. Thank goodness my return to sewing has revived my closet from the Eileen Fisher morgue it was becoming.

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  37. Oh Oona,
    Thanks so much for posting this and the last one... I happily jumped into sewing blogland a few years ago and made exactly 2 pieces. I was so disappointed in myself and how crappy they were and how great everyone's stuff was (including yours) that I basically gave up. My machine sits in the corner... covered in dust. :) I think I might jump back in. I mean, if even YOU have bad stuff.... there is hope for us all. :)

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    1. oh PLEASE jump back in! countless hours of fun to be had before you hit something good, and up till then just believe everything *is* good, because really-- it IS. gotta go through all the levels!

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!