This dress was destined for the chop shop, like its rainbow striped predecessor. A full on What Was I Drinking in effect. But then this happened...
AND NOW I KIND OF LOVE IT LIKE I LOVE MY MAMA
WASSUP BRUNO! HOW YOU IZZZ?!
This Closet Case Nettie dress was stitched last summer, intended for a Brooklyn block party. After spending many hours on it, including figuring out how to fully line it in one continuous unbroken swoop (don't ask, my memory does not go back that far, I blame it on the booze), I donned it with glee...and couldn't stop guffawing.
Considering I chose a body con dress for this bodacious print, I'm not sure what I could have done to avoid the questionable pattern placement on display. Perhaps that's why Brain raised the white flag and just decided to go gorilla on it (GET IT?! GORILLA!! Yeah, I am the last person on the planet to discover Bruno Mars.)
I labored to make sure a wreath of sunshine infused flowers adorned my neckline...
And, um.... my fallopian tubes.
(I also have dangerous boobs. BEWARE MY BOOBS, MY BOOBS WILL CUT YOU.)
HOT DAMN. Can I get a witness for a seaweed covered booty? Come on, you can't go wrong with a seaweed covered booty! All the men like a seaweed covered booty! Except Mark Ronson, he's not really into algae.
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT here you go, the dress with normal boring backdrop, for your careful consideration. Loses something here...makes you rethink its wearability factor without the posse, no?
THAT'S BETTER. It's one hundred percent a "What Was I Drinking," don't worry, I am fully aware of that fact, but FRIG IT. I'M WEARING IT. It will certainly require a beverage or two when sporting, again, don't worry, I'll be sure to adhere to that rule. But I will rock this like Bruno rocked gold hair rollers on live television. Don't believe me? Just watch. Put yo theme song on and own it.
If you see me stomping around in it, do join me for a glass and a chorus of Uptown Funk. It'll be on repeat in my head. My do-rag covered head.