not what it seams (i couldn't resist)

i've got some offbeat sewing tools in my arsenal (yes, that is a frog tape dispenser with a gun roll.  i also have a blue plastic gun for said roll.  don't you?) so i thought i might make a wee thing of sharing a weekly favorite with you.  see that can of duck cassoulet up above?  it was DELICIOUS, and most certainly aided in my recent love for adding ease.  and now, it also holds all three hundred of my zig double tipped fabric markers.  these were enabled by mommaballoona's stash of 50% off coupons, like ten years ago.  they're still rocking.  i'm a big fan off capping things tightly.   

(no, i do not have three hundred, but it feels like it.  the most i can find them in now is a pack of 25, for like 50 bucks.  you can see where a coupon comes in handy.)

they've got a mean little pointy tip and a thick doofus tip, depending on your mood.  i almost always open up the wrong end first and scowl at the thumb sized end.  mostly, i do pointy rage work with these.  see:  stitching gone awry!  see: oona gnash her teeth in the direction of seam ripper and go for the cheater's route instead!

EH!   EET IZ VANISHED!  with all the colors of the world at hand, it's soooo easy to mask a little drunken stitching. and these won't wash out, being fabric markers.  i highly suggest searching your local crafty superchain the next time you've got a fancy coupon.

have i sufficiently ruined your image of me?  what do you do to avoid the seam ripper?

advice for a young kalkatroonaan

if i were to talk to my high school self about the shitty jersey tube mini dress she wore to senior prom, i'd tell her i made this drapey jersey maxi dress for 5 dollars.

she would know that all she needed was a hot iron and an eye for organic placement (read: cocktail) to bling it up.

  

and stink eye, you must have stink eye.   how else do you expect to keep those randy boys in their place.

you could go the demure route.  young high school oona certainly did, as cocktails were not an option.

i'd tell her: if you ain't got it in the front, party in the back.  (and no, young oona, they won't be growing much more.)

and i'd DEFINITELY tell her don't sleep on the 2 dollar a yard bolt found at international silks and woolens, even when the uninspiring shoplady opens said bolt to reveal an oblong hole cut smack out of the middle of it. because, young high school oona, when you take that jersey home, you'll find it's actually a tube, and the oblong hole makes a perfect drapedrape neckline to step right into.  and of course you bought a sheet of iron on studs from fabric planet to play with.  because you're smart and pretty and amazing, young high school oona, and one day you will rule the world.

(or you'll get tipsy on the regular and post stuff on a fun little blog too early and totally gum up the works.  hey by the way GOOGLE READER SUCKS.  my updated promaballoona got bumped to the back of the line.  you could say it was my own damn drunken fault, but i prolly wouldn't listen to you.  check out the new details, including incriminating photographic evidence of ruggy.)

what would you tell your prom (or formal, or grad...) age self? 

*** THE REAL*** PROMABALLOONA

sophomore year.  asteroid blue dress.

If you hung out around these parts last year, you might've come to my virtual birthday party.
Peeps got quite drunk on fresh lime basil concoctions, sang songs, and brought all sorts of favors to the soiree. In the end officer mcnaughty had to be called in. It was BANANAS. Well. This year, I would very much like to have a prom for my birthday.

I went to prom. Actually, I went to prom three years running. I know, I know, I'd have you believe I was a social outcast in my high school career--and in the popular clique I certainly was--but with the "other" crowd I had a certain je ne sais quois that got me invited to prom early.

No I did not put out.

is that a face that puts out?  junior year.  the dress was actually pink.

Mall gowns were bought (that is not a typo), pictures snapped in front of rose bushes, dances danced. Fairly uneventful and nice. No stress, man, it's not MY senior prom. I'll stress when it's important, yo.

And therefore, my senior prom was an absolute bust. Six of us chipped in for a swank ride, and drove around for over two hours trying to find the locale of one of the dates (she was from another school, like eighty six towns away). By the time we got to prom, it was ninety percent over. I had decided to go with a friend (wah WAAAAAAH), and possibly in some stroke of karma, chose an underclassmen. We entered the room, and I didn't see him again for the rest of the very short night.

I DIDN'T EVEN GET A PICTURE.

but i DO have a picture of senior ruggy.

Let's talk about The Dress That Was Not Snapped In Front Of A Velvet Curtain In Some Cheesy Banquet Room.

Kalkatroona, the motherland, is what you'd call the mecca of malls, and the Balloonas took me to Every. Mall. In The Tri-Kalkatroonaan Area. In the endIi decided on the first dress I saw on that three hour tour, and I don't even want to tell you what Nan Balloona shelled out for it. Because I know I could make that jersey knit tube with sateen rosettes and half cape for about 15 bucks. It was the EXACT shade of my skin. Flattering, no? After ten minutes of pseudo dancing, one of the rosettes (which were the size of my head) had wilted right off the damn thing. The storeowner was not amused when we tried to take it back. It's handmade, she said. Um, YEAH, obviously that's the PROBLEM was our uniformed and shocked response. Duh! If only we had known before we bought it! How could anything handmade last for more than one night?!

No seriously that's what we thought. 

So. I want to go to prom for my birthday. I want to go in something stunning, something created in my sewing room and not a mall, something properly handmade (sorry, boutique lady), armed with the man of my dreams, and I would be ever so off the charts thrilled beyond belief if you joined us.

Here's my proposal: make a prom dress. (edit: you may also alter, thrift, repurpose, or wave a bottle of vermouth around a prom dress.) You can go for the era you attended, you can go for the era you wish you attended, but GO. Go with a friend, go with a lover, go with a cocktail, GO BIG, AND GO OUT. Go out in something handmade and rock the surrounding vicinity. You've got the weekend of August 4th and 5th to paint the town whatever color you choose! (Probably don't go for flesh tone, word to the wise). Snap a pic, and post it on your blog. Let me know you went to promaballoona, (yeah that's right I NAMED IT) and I'll do a wrappy linkup here the week of Monday, August 6th. That would be my birthday week. Are you surprised I get a week? Really? You did read that whole promaballoona thing, yes? Good.  

The week of August 6th I'll be sharing your prom pics and doling out awards. That's right. Maybe you'll be voted most likely to succeed. Maybe you'll be class clown.  

Maybe you'll be Prom Queen.  

(*I'm* obviously Birthday Promaballoona Ultimate High Ruler In The Known And Unknown Universe, so yes, I will dub a Queen. Maybe a King too. BRING IT, BOYS.)

(edit: if you're in los angeles, come on out to sew LA for a real life promaballoona!  and don't forget to share your links if you're celebrating virtually :)