Wednesday, December 7, 2011

you dress like a tourist


no for real, you do.   if you dress up, that is.  

i decided the best way to wrap up my oona does it!s on le blog would be to talk about where i wear them.  that way i might actually wear them somewhere, as opposed to my current abysmal average

so!  i wore my goldschlagger dress out to a birthday dinner with Holy Cow She's So Freaking Brilliant Friend and her husband, I Can't Believe You Cooked That Awesome Shit Chef.  (they were our thanksgiving guests.  we had a LOT to be thankful for.)


Brilliant Chica's birthday falling frequently on or about thanksgiving seems to have meant little to no birthday plans in the past.  as you know, in kalkatroona, this will not do.  i coaxed her into my campbell apartment dress (which fit Her Hotness like a glove), we raided the vintage jewelry stash, dressed the boys up as much as we could, and headed to one of our favorite french restaurants.

as we strolled down the avenue, i imagined us singlehandedly (well, double handedly.  quadruply? there were two of us) bringing back the age of style.  something like mad men, but without mad men acting like asses.  just very sane men like ruggy and Mad Chef bringing gallantry back.  they've already got sexy, in spades.

we got stares.  from several drag queens.  do you know what it takes to get noticed by a new york city drag queen?


i mean, my dress was faced in faux lavender leather.  (yeah, that's understitching, yo. i got skillz.)


check the orange and gold zipper.  and what UP matching gold shoes?!


she in teal lace, and i in sparkly gold?  truly we were the epitome of class, and should have been treated as such.  

mais, non.  we arrived at the restaurant and were seated by the kitchen.  birthday girl's entree was a total hackjob, which had to be sent back.  after our waiter, some new upselling species of shark, gave birthday girl the third degree on what was wrong with her moules frites, i decided i truly did not like him.  i lost all betty draper composure and barked GOAT CHEESE TART at him when he returned for the new order.  twice, as he tried to upsell Brilliant Chica to the special.  i did not want him talking to Brilliant Chica any longer.  he had lost that privilege.

eventually the owner, whom ruggy & i know and very much enjoy, came over and made everything nice again.   shark attack was all smiles after that. 


i would have liked to bash his teeth in.

were we too dressed?  did shark attack take us for rubes?  as i glanced at our surroundings, i saw peeps dressed in tattered jeans and t shirts, bags of black friday loot by their feet, looking at us like we were a little loco.  when did these tables turn?

oh yeah by the way, this is simplicity's project runway line, numero 2444, and holy cow do i love this line.  this pattern has pockets, always a plus, and was hella fun to sew and wear.  the home deco fabric i scored at joann's is the highly flammable bomb to work with.  but maybe better suited for drapes.  it itches like a motha.  i did the sleeves, mainly because i wanted to prove to myself i could do sleeves (i can't, those poofy pleats are totally born of me shrugging my shoulders and forcing the caps to fit), but now i think i might hack them off.  i feel a little too girly in it.

it's hard to kick a shark's ass when you're all girly.  next time, all sharks in the vicinity will see my guns.  

but they will be gussied up guns, dammit.  GUSSIED.  UP.

33 comments:

  1. Aw man that dress is gorgeous. No, no NO, you do not look like a tourist. My sister and I looked like tourists in 2004 when we visited New York, because we had nice ladies come up to us in the street a few times and ask if we needed directions (we did).

    We were NOT wearing dresses like yours. My sister had quite a natty travel wardrobe going... I think it was my cargo pants and concealed fannypack that gave us away.

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  2. That was one misguided waiter, thinking he could treat you like that. I would not want to annoy Oonaballoona!

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  3. i don't believe there is such a thing as being overdressed.. i put on a dress and heels even if i won't leave the house at all.. it's not that we are overdressed, but that the other peeps are underdressed..
    i also think it's easier to kick asses when your all dolled up and girly, cause nobody expects that, so 'girlynes' gives you advantage..
    btw, have i told you that this dress is amazing?

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  4. Gorgeous dress! I want to steal it... ;)

    As someone who is a chronic over-dresser, stares seem to be the way people deal with someone looking out of the norm. (Or just take in all the fabulousness, which is my preferred way of looking at it. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they're envying me rather than shaking their heads in disapproval! ;) lol.) It's a bit sad elegance for things other than weddings and black tie events isn't more normal. But then again at least we live in a time when people wearing jeans and fabulous dresses can mingle! ;)

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  5. There's no reason you can't be fabulous just because everybody else is being a loser.

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  6. That dress is gorgeous, and the waiter was a poop. I feel like tourists tend to do the opposite, dressing for the most comfort that they can find. I do agree that people tend to treat you differently when you're dressed up, and not always in a nice way, which is a shame. It sounds like you handled the situation like the classy lady that you are. Beat him up next time.

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  7. What? WHAT?! Those people are all losers. You look fabulous and you should keep it that way.
    When I was waiting for ya'll way back in September in a little sidewalk park, brushing my hair in my fancy dress I did not get bad looks. Rather, some young, handsome black boy (underdressed, but we'll ignore that) gave me huge compliments...so maybe you're just in the wrong place!

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  8. Stephanie Lynn said: "There's no reason you can't be fabulous just because everybody else is being a loser."

    Amen! You looked great, I'd bet your friend looked great, and it's sad that you were treated so poorly. :-(

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  9. Shark Attack Waiter sounds like the rube in this story-- he obvs didn't know who he was dealing with! I don't get waiters with a 'tude... seems to happen a lot, but it's strange. I was always super nice in my many years as a waitress ('cause hello, it's your job AND it's good karma!).

    Love the gold! I know what you mean about dresses with sleeves, though-- for some reason they make me feel way to girly and lame. I much prefer sleeveless, even if I have to wear some lame cardigan over it cause HOLY COW IT'S FREAKIN' COLD ALL OF A SUDDEN!

    OMG... word verification: fartier. Don't even know what to do about that except to giggle like a 13 year-old boy.

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  10. he was probably acting like that because he was jealous of your amazing dress. i know i am - SPARKLES. OOH.

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  11. Aww! I am totally tickled (although not actually surprised) that you were turning the drag queens' heads. I don't think you looked like tourists---I think you looked like people out for a birthday dinner! So glad the restaurant manager is decent, such a pity his waitstaff were so URRRGH!

    Besides, if you can't dress crazy over the top when out on the town in NYC, where CAN you? Honestly.

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  12. I LURVE both of those dresses! And, of course, you turned drag queens' heads - they know style!

    Methinks society has become so used to the schleppy, just-fell-out-of-bed look that they don't know what to do when they see polished peeps.

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  13. I tell you what. You ever want to get gussied up and go out on the town down here I'M ALL FOR IT BABY. No torn jeans in our fancy restaurants. NO WAY. Just don't wear white shoes after labor day cause this is The South.

    Good on you for having some class. Those drag queens were jealous, that's what they were.

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  14. Next time drag queens look at you like that, challenge them to a dance off!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNh8d3IfZ3c

    And don't worry about the sharks. They're notoriously unstylish.

    I love this flip side version of your Oona Does It!

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  15. Oh! I am filled with outrage on your behalf. How dare that smarmy waiter act all imported-car salesman on y'all? And why do the tattered t-shirt wearin'-all-black-all-the-time people seem to have the same smirky superiority complex? Must be smoking too many Gauloises. You look like a Dresden shepherdess in that golden confection.

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  16. blerg...this is why a extra pair of combat boots are necessary to insight the fear of Hades into some of these waiters. On another front, the dress is absolutely to die for. My inner wanabee stylist is planning different looks around this dress lol.

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  17. The dress is to die for. I want it, so badly. You must be so proud!

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  18. "There's no reason you can't be fabulous just because everybody else is being a loser."

    I am so totally putting that on my wall. Or maybe a t-shirt. A really fabulous t-shirt.

    Awesome.

    Also, you were being fabulous. Clearly.

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  19. i often dress up for running around the city. it makes me feel better about life. and when fabric shopping, it makes all of the snotty fashion students take you seriously :-)

    you look hella hot. and holla back on simplicity 2444.

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  20. ah...new york...it has it's moments. I knew there was something different about this dress--SLEEVES. I haven't seen you in sleeves in ages. They look great (but you look great sleeveless too)! I absolutely adore that last picture :)

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  21. "i would have liked to bash his teeth in." - I am so totally picturing you, fabulous gold dress and all, giving the waiter a Brooklyn style beat down.

    My office is just blocks from Times Square - you do NOT look like a tourist. The dress is fab! And if the Drag Queens gave you the bitch look, you know it's cause you had it goin on.

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  22. You rock that gold dress. And, congrats on your Double Agent Dress making BurdaStyle's Member Project of the Week. Definitely a reason to get gussied up if you ask me.

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  23. isn't it strange how peeps seem to want to be noticed for looking exactly like everybody else?
    People say it takes extreme effort to be seen in NYC--so I guess you are a wild success.
    By the way, I love the alternate takes on your outfit from sew weekly and your own blog.

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  24. ~
    THANK YOU LADIES!
    ~

    i pledge to continue to dress like a tourist, you should see the beaded job i'm going out in tonight. actually... you do need to see it... @ emilykate, my money's in my shoe, and @ clio, a beat down may occur.

    @ casey: good point, and you do it SO well. are you ever not dressed up?
    @ daughterfish: GENIUS. i am wack all the way.
    @ linb: a dresden shepherdess!!! i love it!
    @ sigrid & miss fish: i'm so glad you like take two, i felt weird about re-posting but i like this!

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  25. I'd suggest you somehow take out the pleats out of the sleeves and make them plain smooth ones. That could do the job, focusing all the drama on the skirt.

    Guessing by that story, you should have worn your double agant dress!

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  26. Just found your blog through Burdastyle and I love it! I also love this dress. the exposed zipper is my favorite detail.

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  27. You dress like a happy, gorgeous, life-loving, friend-loving, good food-loving star

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  28. @ hana: good pints, BOTH. i think the sleeves were meant to be smooth in the first place, but i haven't figured out ow to adjust the sleeves after adjusting the bodice. ALWAYS left with more fabric in the sleeve.

    @ lynette: welcome! and thankya :). i was pretty psyched about that zip.

    @ threadsquare: right back atcha mama!

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  29. I frakkin LOVE this dress. The gold brocade is just too deluxe. I ended up wearing my brand spankin new sweater (very warm) to my holiday party, and I now regret that it wasn't as bling as this gold jaquard confection. You rock it.

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  30. @ grace: AH? que que que? did you offer prizes?

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  31. I finally figured out where I've seen you. Deathproof! That has to be you or I'm crazy. Please tell me it's you. LOL that's one of my favorite movies ever.
    Mandy
    Nestled in Nostalgia

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied if not always written!