why i need to learn how to sew jeans

(oona sighs, eyeing the sales rack at the gap.  her favorite pair of american eagles have finally gone to the big sweatshop in the sky, along with the entire model line of "ae downtown hipster".  she grabs several pairs of jeans that may or may not be her size.  one pair in particular has a very strange cloth waistband, and is labeled a size 2.  there is no way oona will fit in a size 2.  but these jeans are marked down to $9.99, with an additional 40% off, so into the dressing room they go.)

oona:  (wriggling into jeans and talking to herself)  holy SHIT.  i ROCK.

(after only one week of yoga classes, oona is apparently back to fighting weight.  she marches proudly to the counter with her new jeans.  the gap is so stupid!  always sticking their necks out with odd fashion trends and ending up throwing them on the sales racks!  that's when hip people like oona come in and reap the rewards! plunking her treasure down, she gaily greets the clerk.)

oona:  good day to you, friend! 

clerk:  (eyeing oona suspiciously) ....umm, you know these are maternity jeans, right?

oona:  yes, yes i do. thankyouverymuch.

(oona hands over the cash and heads meekly out the door.)

i'm so not a size 2.  i don't know if anyone is, really, the stores having mutilated any rational table of size.  but being a size 2 is irrational in the first place.  i'm healthy, and i can sew, and you know what?  there's no number in handmade clothing.


  1. Oh oona. a size two is something only heard of in stories. ^_~ j/k. I think you should make jeans. I want to make jeans just so I can finally have the perfect pink ones.

  2. Hey, I say if they look good that's all that matters. And you can't beat $6! I'm sure you've heard about Peter's jeans-along...

  3. Haha!! I don't know how many times I've unknowingly wandered into the maternity section and picked out cute things!

    So, I've heard that The Buckle will not only hem your jeans but will also mend them. for life. I'm on a tight budget so I haven't been to the mall in a while and haven't verified this rumor. Might be worth checking out though.

  4. I don't know what size 2 would be... some of my favourite clothes are bought from children section haha not sure that's a good thing:)) Whatever you size is, it looks perfect to me!

  5. Been there, done that... ;) Who cares what they label things, anyway...
    I hear it's entire possible to make good jeans yourself. Tanit-Isis is enviably good at it...

  6. It is soooo easy to pick up maternity things!
    Bugger it I say, If you like them and they fit you why not?
    I am definately on the handmade jeans bandwagon at the moment. I am going to make some green straight legged because apparently if you are over a UK size 12.They won't sell you them through some kind of crazy fashion law.
    Plus RTW trouser fitting is a nightmare for me.
    Bring on the Jeans sewing!

  7. I don't think it's appropriate for clothes to be labelled size 2 unless they're for a child who IS 2. *harrumpf!*
    Your shopping expedition yeilded a hawt pair of jeans, and the fact you've now got a headstart on a maternity wardrobe is really quite fabulous. Do they have a stretchier section in front?- I could use a pair like that, for long boozy weekend lunches. Save me from having to pop open the waistband button to accommodate food babies.

  8. Screw you the Gap clerk - a woman can appreciate jeans with strange cloth waistbands without harbouring a foetus! I don't understand American sizing at all but I know what it's like not to fit in standard pattern sizing. I love what you wrote about hand made clothing having no size - holy shit you do rock :)

  9. Oh you're so funny :) I've costumes girls that are a size 00...makes any normal female adult feel like a hippo! Make jeans! I'm hoping to make some awesome 70s pants soon.

  10. Hmm, are they the kind with buttonhole elastic in the back? Those drove me NUTS when I was pregnant (I bought an extra-small and they were too big... Now, I know I'm not particularly heavy, but there have GOT to be pregnant women considerably smaller than I was. I am not an XS.

    Make jeans. DO IT. It's the most amazingly awesome feeling, and we already know you can fit pants. Ooh, I can't wait to see what Kalkatroonan jeans look like!

  11. You are so funny! As soon as you mentioned the fabric on the waisteband, I knew you had picked up maternity jeans. I hope you wear them. They're comfy :)

  12. EGADS.

    now y'all think i'm gonna make jeans???

    (novemberjuliet: i'm so looking into the buckle.
    emilykate & tanit-isis: the stretchy jersey part is in the back, which is totally baffling and probably why they were on sale.)

  13. If you do make jeans there's a hot looking pair in the 01.2011 La Mia Boutique. Almost bought it last night.

  14. Great story! I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant with #2 and am a size 0. However, I'm also only 5' tall, so it's not like I'm waifer thin (athletic-slim). Anyway, I sew as well and am increasingly frustrated with how poorly made maternity clothes are. As indicated by the pair of jeans Oona found, many, many maternity clothes are not truly shaped for a pregnant body with a growing belly. Apparently they are also made for people who gain weight everywhere instead of just in the belly because it's very hard to find maternity clothes that fit when you're petite. I will be altering non-maternity clothes and making new clothes this time 'round (a feat in itself b/c the big pattern companies make very, very few maternity patterns... even fewer than 3 years ago when I was pregnant).

  15. emilykate: if you think they're hot i'm so checking them
    out. it'd be my first mia :)

    sandoz: congratulations!! yes, these jeans were horribly made for the pregnant body! at least, as far as i could tell. these had a jersey strip only in the back--if i had a baby in the belly, i would not want a regular jeans waistband slung round the front. and your handsewn wardrobe will way beat RTW!


i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!