6.08.2011

in the beginning


Once upon a time, Ruggian Mom rang us in Kalkatroona, quite excited over some impending permanent guests. These magical visitors would soon serenely wander her mountain top home, spreading their feathers, gracing us with their prehistoric presence. Isn't it exciting? She asked, bubbly, just knowing I would share in her excitement.

ARE YOU CRAZY THOSE BIRDS WILL BE THE END OF ANY PEACE YOU HAVE was my exact response. THEY SHRIEK LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD THEY ARE MEAN INSANE THINGS THEY ATTACK YOU AND BLOCK TWO TON CARS FROM GOING ANYWHERE AND THEY WILL WAKE YOU AT TWO IN THE MORNING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Ruggian Mom was surprised at my passionate response to a situation she was sure I would jump into with both feet. Yes, I am ordinarily game for most things out of the ordinary, but you must understand, at this point, I had heard several horror stories about these creatures. (I may have also been hormonal.) Hands down, the funniest cautionary tale was emilykate's australian mafiosa peacock. I quote: "you're never going to have a good encounter with a peacock."

But the homing pen was already built, so in they came. We visited, sure to be repeatedly accosted physically and mentally by the things... and instead found a docile peacock and peahen, timid really, and only too happy to sit in their pen and eat blueberries delicately out of our outstretched hands. And for the rest of that visit, I was teased: Oh ooooooona, those peacocks are SO mean, aren't they? I'm scared to go outside!

Alright, whatever, I can admit it when i'm wrong. (I can, really, just not out loud.) Maybe only australian peacocks are lunatics, I thought. After all, isn't everything more dangerous over there? I fed them berries, and gazed at their feathers, and ended up oohing and aahing with the best of them.


And now, just one short year later, oh! They've grown so much. One might even say they're teenagers, the boy being very interested in the girl, the feathered plumage growing in color and length, ah! Such a wonder is nature.

Cut to: Four-in-the-morning wake up calls from what you're sure must be a coked out woman in dire peril or a housecat on steroids. That would be the boy one. He's ticked off because the girl one is SO not into him.

Ruggian Mom says, we'll just let the girl out of the pen. He'll calm down, and she's so sweet. It's true. Juliet picks berries from Ruggy's hand and proceeds to follow him from window to window throughout the house like he's her new boyfriend. And Romeo ceases his incessant yelling for the night.

So yeah, let's let that cock out too. How bad could it be?

This morning, I awoke to a trail of brilliant feathers gliding past my bedroom window. Seconds later, Romeo was gazing at me, beautiful blue head clicking from side to side. I AM wrong, I thought. It really IS nice to have these strange birds floating around. It's magical! So special to wake up to th---

THWACKBANGKICK KICK KICK

Romeo hurls himself at the window inches away from my face in what I am told is an attempt to battle the peacock he sees in the reflection. It looks more like he wants to battle ME.

I sit up, blink, get dressed, as boy bird continues to brain himself against the glass. By the time I leave the bedroom, he's caterwauling.


That's him, poised to strike.

BIRD. Just so you know: I am always right. And I would WIN. You best bring an army.

12 comments:

  1. Oh how funny! It's nice to be right... I used to work somewhere with peacocks but it was the turkey I had issues with. Every time he saw me he puffed up his feathers with a 'crack!' and waddled threateningly towards me making a loud garbling sound. I had to go past his patch to get to the loo so I couldn't avoid him. My tactics varied between threatening him back (my garble noise was... interesting), trying to sneak past or just flat out running. My colleagues found it most amusing as he didn't bother them. Just me.

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  2. Wow! I've never heard about anyone having peacocks as pets...now I know why! hehehehehe...Still they are so beautiful!

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  3. Peacocks are so beautiful! But having had a rooster and chickens, I can only imagine how much trouble an even bigger bird would be. Still, anything with peacock print is love, love, love for me. I.E. see my MMJune yesterday :)

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  4. laughing my butt off in 5...4...3...2... ha ha ha hahaahaaa.

    ^_~

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  5. Ha! Just about spit out my coffee! Those are about the prettiest birds I've ever seen, but from your description I think I enjoy them much more in your pics than in person. I'm not a fan of domesticated fowl. As a kid, our chicken coup was the den of fear and then there was all that bird crap!

    Alvin Ailey, hugh? But can you dance? (Of course you can! Which is why I'm scared to join you!)

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  6. ehehee
    is there any better feeling then saying "told you so"
    ..
    try to infuse his blueberries with some brandy
    that might put him into sleep
    ..
    you might think i'm nuts, but i love the way peacocks shriek

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  7. I am terrified of birds! You brave girl you! This event with the peacock in the window, would have put me in therapy for 5 years for sure. They are beautiful for sure, but from afar.

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  8. Oh sweet jesus, that is HILARIOUS! You are uber brave and I am glad you walked away without any injuries from these "beauties." Thank you for giving me a story to share with my family at dinner tonight :)

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  9. ENTIRELY. TOO. HILARIOUS!!!! And scary. Nearly attacked by a self-attacking peacock! At least our neighbour-bird seems fairly docile, just likes to make unholy noise and get in the way. I've just realised that of course I shouldn't be calling our neighbour-bird a peacock, she's a peaHEN. Sounds like we should be thanking our lucky starsshe doesn't have not have a big blue freak courting her.

    I didn't know they were into blueberries. Whenever I've seen poor neighbour-bird scratching around outside for seeds to eat I've thought about giving her some bread but thought it might not be good for her. But blueberries are about $8 for a half-punnet right now so I'm not giving her any of those!
    Verification word: psyma. That's a state of psychosis specific to the peacock.

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  10. I see. *sarcastic chuckle, directed at the peacocks... or no one in particular*
    Their shrieks CAN be unnerving. I've gathered as much from the peacocks I've heard elsewhere around the world.

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  11. I always thought it was so romantic that Flannery O'Connor raised peacocks. Writers... And then I read her mother couldn't wait to get rid of them, and now I know why. Always seems like it's the pretty birds that freak you out with their squawking, you just don't expect it.

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  12. YOU GUYS.

    you need fear for my safety no more.... the peacocks have disappeared!!! i am oddly disappointed. especially since i didn't get to try the blueberry brandy trick mokosha suggested.

    emilykate, pyasma is Too. Perfect.

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i thankya truly for taking the time to comment, i love a good conversation-- and hope you know my thanks are always implied, if not always written!